my random thoughts..post-hibernation

Wow! Has it been that long that I was in hibernation mode? After endless packets of green tea, breakfast salads and loving the colorless liquid we all like calling water, I see dramatic changes in my goal and I'm loving it! The downside of it is that my body can keep a 48-hour cycle without rest, like it always wants to stay active and when my body goes downtime, it can only take 4 hours of sleep and then I'm that energizer bunny again.
And just when I'm about to wave the white flag to being sick, the longtime-planned trip of Cher to Baguio will happen this weeked. How will I call it off when she's rode the bus already? Maybe I should be a good friend and pick her up at the terminal tonight then pop a couple of aspirins on our way to the bar.
My friend Tina has posted a shoutout on her wall just to find me, I think it's embarrassing (chuckle,chuckle) to put out a search party for me like that
I feel that I'm not doing enough to make what I want, work. I guess I just have to keep trying. I wish Ben was here. It feels empty not having him around. Sometimes, I just want to call him so that hearing his voice will make me feel okay. But I don't need him to make me feel okay, I need to be secure about myself and the day I had let him go was the day I knew I was on my own. Whoah! Psh! Drama! I'll just push that thought at the back of my head and keep singing Miley Cyrus's song The Climb.
But you know, I tell myself this: it's okay to fail, it's okay to think of things and people we need but eventually, we just need ourselves to pull through at the end of the day.