drained

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT IT IS. When I get really drained from thinking and from hurting, I shake so bad, it takes a couple of minutes before my breathing is in its steady pace. The last time I experienced this was working 16 hours straight without even pausing or taking a breather. The whole thing got me scared, my body shook like it would when you would laugh so hard from a funny joke.
This is the most emotional draining week i have ever gone through. 5 ex-boyfriends trying to win your affection and my current boyfriend who had officially turned into a has-been since last night. We were always fighting and he kept provoking me to get mad. But last night, I gave up, just like that. No begging. No pleading. Just a quiet "Yes, I wanna break up with you" and walked away. Of course I cried. I cried because of the release I felt from anger and from being very very weary of all the fights. And just this morning, he IM'ed me for some more war. But I breathed deeply, shut my messenger and erased all the messages he sent over the wee hours of the morning. So, I pulled the ring from my finger and kept it in my jewelry box, everything felt light after that.
I am tired,so tired of trying to be someone's spotlight,emotional punching bag and someone's free time. I just wanna space out. For myself and for the sake of sanity, I don't need them right now, not this time.