much ado about nothing

HAVE YOU TRIED chewing on a frozen Snickers Bar at the middle of the night and watch re-runs and not worry about what tomorrow‘s all about? It just gets worse everyday if you start to feel you’re a certified bum. I will just lose my mind wondering what the world out there has in store for me. Patience. Patience. Patience. After my rehab, I am free as a bird! I have yet to complete several weeks of the program and it doesn’t stop there. I’m running out of books to read, DVDs to watch, and I’ve tried practically everything decorating my apartment…at Yoville!! Sadly, my best friend Melissa, left for Kuwait weeks before I settled here and my close friend Jackie works through the day, so there’s pretty much no one to hang out with here in Baguio, this is where I miss Manila and the complexity of it all.
Panagbenga Festival is a few days shy of the busy preparation in Session Road. I just got off SM Baguio early this afternoon to have lunch alone at Point and Grill, nearly everybody I bump into are running hurriedly off the streets with poles, flowers and tons of light bulbs in their arms. Am I the only one slacking off time?
Against my parents’ wishes, I walked-in an open position at a nearby company, they said I passed the final interview and I can start in a month, among several applicants, I was the only one who passed, ho-hum…nothing impresses me anymore these days. If I had my way, I’d be pleased if they asked me to start in a few hours, but a month!
I’d love to go back to Manila and willingly work as a factory worker, scratch that, glorified factory worker (chuckle chuckle). I am starting to hate my princess-y life here in the mountains. When I wake up, my breakfast is ready, my pantry box is full of everything I love to eat when I want to eat it, all my stuff are alarmingly organized and I have a yaya who comes with me wherever I wish to go. But my brothers and sisters lovingly reminded me that I have all this because I still need all the assistance I can get and not because I was being spoiled rotten. I will be forever thankful to my parents, of course yet I think it’s embarrassing to let people do the normal things other than myself.
I look forward to every weekend, though. When my nephew, Theo visits us, I babysit and playing with him is so much fun! I am keen at his everyday developments and I shower him with kisses. My tutor from Benilde once told me that, if a person is disabled, he gets to appreciate the small things which slowed him down in the first place. This I find so true. I guess the one thing that’s missing with me right now is Patience. I used to have a lot of that with people. But now I don’t seem to have that with myself. Payback’s a bitch…

my lola's 92nd..

I LOVE BLOGGING about family events. I guess, in a way, I wanted to preserve the memories of my support system. When I was at the peak of my career, family reunions leave a bitter aftertaste in my mouth hence, the lame excuses I give are as easy as breathing. Regretfully, I lost ten years in the making for what I realized it to be one of the most precious things in my life. It was just last Christmas that I decided to give family reunions a try and I cried a bit for not knowing my nephews and nieces have grown so much! So I vowed to be at every family event, even at the silliest ones.
February is a grand month for my clan. My grandmother celebrates her birthday lavishly in the mansions. On her 92nd birthday, preparation starts as early as October. It was just last weekend that we all made it happen. We packed lightly and headed to Pangasinan for the two-hour ride. We stopped by San Fabian to get a gallon of nipa vinegar from Daddy’s supplier, just as we were about to pull out of the curve, a few fish vendors flocked around the car to sell their catch for the day. My Dad eyed the three ten-foot cod hanging by its tail, he made the purchase easily since they were fresh catch. We stopped by Dagupan to eat at a stop and checked in at one of the hotels there. We freshened up and headed to Calasiao. As we were nearing the street heading up the mansion, several cars were lined up front. I remembered the sprawling lawn when I was a kid and only a few cars were parked then, but now, almost all my cousins own a car and every year the lawn gets smaller with all the vehicles parked. We were greeted by my nephews and nieces, a few of my cousins were setting up the sound system and installing lights. A few yayas were running around the garden trying to run after the kids. I took a round of kisses to my aunts and uncles who warmly hugged me. The foyer was big and decorated beautifully with streamers, the maids took out plates of colorful food, lechon, sweets and busily counted the silverware. Guests were coming in and there she is, my Lola Osiang, smiling happily at everybody in her wheelchair. She squeezed my hand tightly and pulled me down for a kiss. Her familiar scent of baby powder and red roses hit home. I studied her face carefully and wiped a strand of gray hair out of her face. The lines in her face were visibly creased, boasting of the 92 years she lived by everyday, it was amazing seeing her talk wildly about her experiences, laughed like a kid, with no trace of forgetfulness. She was giddy seeing my dad “My Eddie boy”, she exclaimed lovingly as she planted a kiss on my dad’s forehead, he was her favorite son.
Fireworks cracked into the sky and my lola glowed happily when she saw all of us danced and cheered. We took pictures and took turns honoring our grandmother by giving a speech in front of everybody. When everybody was done, she took the microphone: “ I dreamt of your lolo last night, he said I must see all of you dance because this may be my last birthday, I‘m so happy all of you are here,” she said wistfully. A few hours of fun passed, the party was winding down, but my grandmother was still fully awake to have coffee with her children. They laughed and traveled down memory lane. Me and my cousins stayed in one corner just talking about what we were up to, this night right here, is something worth writing about.