much ado about nothing

HAVE YOU TRIED chewing on a frozen Snickers Bar at the middle of the night and watch re-runs and not worry about what tomorrow‘s all about? It just gets worse everyday if you start to feel you’re a certified bum. I will just lose my mind wondering what the world out there has in store for me. Patience. Patience. Patience. After my rehab, I am free as a bird! I have yet to complete several weeks of the program and it doesn’t stop there. I’m running out of books to read, DVDs to watch, and I’ve tried practically everything decorating my apartment…at Yoville!! Sadly, my best friend Melissa, left for Kuwait weeks before I settled here and my close friend Jackie works through the day, so there’s pretty much no one to hang out with here in Baguio, this is where I miss Manila and the complexity of it all.
Panagbenga Festival is a few days shy of the busy preparation in Session Road. I just got off SM Baguio early this afternoon to have lunch alone at Point and Grill, nearly everybody I bump into are running hurriedly off the streets with poles, flowers and tons of light bulbs in their arms. Am I the only one slacking off time?
Against my parents’ wishes, I walked-in an open position at a nearby company, they said I passed the final interview and I can start in a month, among several applicants, I was the only one who passed, ho-hum…nothing impresses me anymore these days. If I had my way, I’d be pleased if they asked me to start in a few hours, but a month!
I’d love to go back to Manila and willingly work as a factory worker, scratch that, glorified factory worker (chuckle chuckle). I am starting to hate my princess-y life here in the mountains. When I wake up, my breakfast is ready, my pantry box is full of everything I love to eat when I want to eat it, all my stuff are alarmingly organized and I have a yaya who comes with me wherever I wish to go. But my brothers and sisters lovingly reminded me that I have all this because I still need all the assistance I can get and not because I was being spoiled rotten. I will be forever thankful to my parents, of course yet I think it’s embarrassing to let people do the normal things other than myself.
I look forward to every weekend, though. When my nephew, Theo visits us, I babysit and playing with him is so much fun! I am keen at his everyday developments and I shower him with kisses. My tutor from Benilde once told me that, if a person is disabled, he gets to appreciate the small things which slowed him down in the first place. This I find so true. I guess the one thing that’s missing with me right now is Patience. I used to have a lot of that with people. But now I don’t seem to have that with myself. Payback’s a bitch…