things I've outgrown.

I DON''T LIKE the rain when I started out in college. Baguio has a very unforgiving weather when May to August months hit. Everybody looks pale like the vampires in Twilight. After class, people would hurriedly make a beeline for their next class in the next neighboring buildings and they grunt unhappily knowing they'd walk over wet, slippery steps,bridges and stairs that weren't architecturally-designed to cover their paths. When it rains, it pierces you like needles and you get so numb that shivering through the cold wishes everybody to go back and crawl to bed covered with their favorite quilts.
But in Manila, rain can be soothing and a welcoming relief in these hot months.I get depressed that there's no sunshine to rule my day. I used to like it when I was a kid, but now I just don't like the pitter-patter or the dampness of even a single raindrop.
I used to love fastfood with ketchup-mustard colored designs and happy mascots that come with it. But when I started working, I get stressed out if I eat a burger and fries since there's no decent meal available (and when I say decent, it has to be a square plate of chicken or pork or fish and sidings with real silver spoon,fork and knife to match)
Junkfood used to be a medium between friends hanging out after school or just munching away and craving for too much salt. But now, my sister Car buys a pack or two everyday and I cringe in disgust. No amount of smell or crunch entice me to join in.
Being temperamental had been destructive for me through the past years. But as I look back this helped me mellowed and be the person I am now. I am more optimistic and serve as a life coach to a few who had been lost in translation for the word (insert fulfilled smiley here).
There will be a lot of things I will outgrow as time goes by, I believe change only winds down when life itself stops. I can go through a hundred different things in one day and be one single unit the next, but the things I will never outgrow is the process of change and how I fully embrace it. My parents would be so proud to be so eloquent describing maturity spontaneously.

half-hearted.

I HAVE THE BEST options possible. Go to Baguio, resume therapy for 3-6 months, enjoy my own computer,tweak Mama's laptop for fun, cuddle up with Theo anytime I want or stay in Manila doing what I want and get medical attention on my own. I just hate adjusting again, and did I mention hating the cold weather as well? My lip-biting moment as I think of everything I have to leave behind.

I'm just under a lot of stress and confusion that any tempting,colorful alcohol will not do. This is where a lush powder blue white-sand beach is helpful to my decision. I'm so confused. This is where I need J the most or Charles even. I value their opinions and I'm sure I'd get a whole lot of it. Today,I've never prayed so hard in my life, it's like leaving someone behind when there's no one to look back to.