the anticipation of J

PERMISSION: J for borrowing your picture.

2008 had given me one of the most important people in my life --Jhonar.

J is the one of the best blessings the Lord had given me in two years. He is the one man who gave me so much to look forward to when I thought there was none. I had so many who claimed to be my best friend, but they were only after intrigues in my life, money and status. I guess everybody goes through all that, after they get burned on a proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back, a fresh start welcomes them anew.

To me, J is the light after the blackout, after the dozen of candles are lit, the house would look serene and almost romantic with the flickering candelight signalling the beauty of hope in my life. I relish the days of spontaneity, his laughter and his easy ways of making me laugh. Although I think he makes me laugh more. Everyday, I am just as amazed on how we would just talk hours on the phone, interrupting each other and never running out of things to say. How liberating to be with a person who lets you be, who sermons when you are wrong, who doesn't judge and listens when I am plain upset and dramatic about the world.

J has a heart of steel, predisposed to triumph to every situation but he is not necessarily spared the wounds that have afforded him the chance to do just that. There are not enought to words to weave the fabric of his life because to me, his stories are superhuman almost. He inspires me to be better because he grabs life by the horns and simply yet gracefully, lives it.

He is the rose, that no matter how beautiful, has its thorns. By listening to what his life had been, the sharpest recollections come with the most mundane of details, those seemingly insignificant things that, as it happens you think you will promptly forget. Time will eventually tell that you did not, will not, cannot. As such, the memory becomes more poignant, bruised even, and somewhat strangely, so much more to the one listening than the one narrating. J never had an attitude of great surrender, he still stood by strong against the will of a strong wind. He can stumble and fall but he will get up almost immediately, dust himself off then try again.

Whatever I deserved to have him in my life, I have anticipated and prayed for. Pray that you may find a best friend who is as loving, handsome and strong as J.