my first quarter review and then some.

THE FIRST QUARTER has come to pass in a blur. If I were to do a review of what I did for the first few months of the year, I would have to say “ an impatient road to recovery”, I have blogged a couple of times about my whiny days doing nothing but rest. And if I don’t help myself to get out of this putter, I will do the rest of 2009 with little interaction and a lot of reaction. I am responding well to treatments and medications which is a clear indication of a hopeful future.
Day by day, I am reconnecting with my faith, and slowly talking to the Lord about everything I do and feel. In silence, I listen to Him speak to me. He gave me this time as an opportunity to be able to get to know Him and his ways. My parents, Mama, most specially, remind me to pray and listen to His words. These were days where I meditate on the things done in the past and things I will be able to do soon. Some of us are scared of what the future will bring when we should feel really excited about what God’s plans are for us.
I realize that there will be people who will only like you for a certain time then disappear on you like they never knew you at all. Of course it made me upset in some ways, but that decision was not my choice to make. People we know grow apart with us, sometimes, when the future is too much or too little for them to handle, they tend to let go of your hand and would want to brave the future alone. Through the years, I learned not to be miserable about it, so instead, I pray that they may find the answers to their questions and live a good life to where the roads may take them.
The April month have started, I’ll try to live each day with purpose and appreciation as I have not given it much thought before. I am looking forward to the coming days that I will heal and that life will be better for me and those whose lives I will touch when I come home…

happy kind of tired

I HAD NO CHOICE but to go to Manila and accomplish a few things in which my mom shook her head in disappointment and reminded me that postponing things will just heavy the burden, why oh why did I put it aside?
My brother-in-law H, called me the night before to remind me that he was picking me up at four in the morning. I grumbled heavily as I took a little baby luggage out of my dresser and packed my essentials. In my PJs, I had to say goodbye to Tina online as I prepared a few things before the lazy 6-hour ride to Manila. I made a mental note to remind yaya to find my sunblock when she woke up before I leave.

6am, Tarlac

My eyes peered painfully down the dusty road, the sun wasn't kind as it began to scorch through our skins on the reflective glass. H had to run a few errands down Camp Aquino and the Akon CD started to get to my nerves as it started its third round on the player. Good thing Jerve, H's brother, switched to an Eraserheads CD when he noticed Akon burning our ears. We were headed out to the expressway soon and we were taking our breakfast down there.


11 am, my Apartment
Jerve carried my luggage at the staircase and I took it gladly as he waved goodbye. I looked around the apartment, my brother Sid and my sister Car were at work. I plopped down my unmade bed as I decided to run my errands at 1pm, my head wobbled a bit, I wanted to get some sleep but I reminded myself that I can't delay things anymore and needed it to be done right away besides, I deserved this torture.


3pm, Pasay
I tapped my fingers impatiently as the traffic went from bad to worse. The sun bakes painfully,too! MOA was filled with people taking strolls with a cold drink in their hands. I was parched, but I needed to find an office squeezed between buildings. As soon as I was done with my errand, rush hour was about to begin, so I hurriedly searched for a taxi lane as I desperately swallowed hard to fight my urge to get a curry puff at Old Chang Kee. It was a choice I was making, the sky looked gloomy and I think hard rain was going to fall any minute, so I bade goodbye to my food craving and hailed a very old cab that was waiting for me on the line. I hope the cab gets to Kyusi in one piece.

8pm, the Grill

Grr..Sher! I was waiting for two hours at our watering hole to get a good decent meal and already my energy is beginning to shut down. She came hurriedly and ordered two bottles of beer for her while I fought my weariness throughout my chicken barbecue dinner. Part of me wanted to go home and hide between the covers of my bed but a part of me encouraged me to eat so I could take my medicine. I couldn't remember how Sher dropped me off at my apartment that night because I was sooo tired, what a day!



Saturday

My sister Car had a couple of pizzas and pasta delivered at home. We were just in front of the TV enjoying a beef shawarma pizza and hanging out. We planned to spend the day together, but H called and said we had to leave by 2 pm, bummer! Our plans were cut short as I packed some last minute stuff and waited for H to pick me up. We left Kyusi with boxes of Krispy Kremes and pastries from Breadtalk. It was interesting for me, H and Jerve to have six hours together. We stopped at a few pitstops to buy food, rest a bit and we finally settled at Isdaan in Gerona Tarlac for some major pinoy comfort food fix. The big fish that was a facade of the restaurant gave us an exciting welcome. As we entered the restaurant, several nipa huts afloat the wide river with japanese kois swimming happily underneath it. The staff were dressed in traditional baro and saya, a few musikeros were behind them as they waited for us to be seated. I looked around really excited with my surroundings as bright candles lit up the pathways of bamboo and straws, I looked at the water and the kois were jumping, causing to splash water on us a little bit. Our orders came buko juice, chicken, sinigang na baboy, and pla-pla, while we savored th food and its ambience, lights went off to support Earth Hour, so, although, I couldn't see what I was eating, candles were everywhere to light up the entire restaurant. And the harana was at its most beautiful tune tempting everyone to sing along. I will come back to Manila, tiring trip or not.

here comes..Pizookie!

AN EXCEPTIONAL DINING EXPERIENCE will not be complete without a hands-down, sugar-rush dessert! And here's one more additional yummy dessert in my endless goldmine of yummy foods! Drumroll please... Pizookie!

It's a deep-dish dessert that can come in warm chocolate chip, brownie, chocolate macadamia, apple crisp or peanut butter. Pizookie is coined from the words: "Pizza" and "Cookie". The dessert is served warm then topped with a luscious vanilla bean ice cream. Did I say this is deep-dish? Sink your teeth into this ...

hello, Manila!

I'M PACKING A FEW STUFF to bring to Manila. Me and Sher made arrangements that she would pick me up this Thursday morning. We'll be heading out to St. Luke's for some medicine-shopping, go to the mall and have dinner. I miss Manila despite its scorching weather, some rude cab drivers, and the busy people. I'll be there to visit a few friends, and get some stuff since I'm settling in Baguio while I'm in a rehab program. So excited to see my friends..Charles, Sher and Tina! My brother-in-law, along with his brothers will be bringing the van, so I don't get to worry about the bus anymore. Tina will be making me her version of leche flan, Kapampangan style using duck eggs filtered in katsa and Sher will just get me drunk after dinner for a mini-"welcome,biatch!" party.
My mom allowed me to go just this one time because I begged her for a couple of weeks. So armed with my medicine case, a few clothes, and a little packed strength, I will enjoy the city for all it's worth :)

who I am, for you

BABY, you are growing up fast. Your cheeks seemed to

puff up like popcorn, and your food intake is increasing. I am proud to be your Aunt Lei. One of the people who loves you unconditionally and will help you get through life as an individual. Who I am for you, will be the person that will keep believing in every milestone you will have. I will be there when you have your own puppy and share the joy of having your first toy truck or choo-choo train. I will be there when your Mom seems too difficult to argue with on your first camping trip and will share your first blush of having a school crush. I will be here if you need me to listen to whatever you have to say. Baby, life will be a very long journey for you, but know that, everybody goes through it, but they don't go through life alone, you are no diferent. I am blessed to have entered your life and more than thankful to the Lord, for bringing you in my life. My purpose as an aunt gives me tremendous joy. I look forward to your life's journeys and life's firsts. Right now, enjoy everyday and being everybody's baby. You make this life much sweeter, after all.

the golden glow of summer

GETTING TO BED at 5 in the morning sucks. Maybe because having the graveyard shift all my life rubs so strongly on me. It gets really warm in the late evenings and I would look out the window to see any traces of sunrise for the hope of the north wind to blow its coolness in my room.
Mom is constantly on Skype with my sister, Christine to discuss my parents' plans of going to San Diego in the summer. July is always a favorite month to spend a great vacay in the west coast, I was reading a magazine when I heard my mom called my name, she looked at me and hopefully wished I could come with her and the family to have fun at SeaWorld and Disneyland, but she knew I had to finish my rehab and won't be allowed to travel for the next six months. Did I say it sucked?
This year, had been filled with reunions from friends of 10 years or so, and they'd email me the details a few weeks before the event, which I have to pass up again. A lot of opportunities I have to pass up and sacrifice to prioritize myself for the meantime. Like I mentioned in my early blogs, I get so impatient because I want to do everything at the same time. Especially now, when summer hits and the beach is so tempting to soak up all the salty air, the mushy white sand against my feet and the foamy water as it crashes dramatically against the shoreline. The familiar smell of burnt barbecues and children playing gleefully with their kites, playing tag and etching the wet sand with sticks with funny drawings.
When we were kids, the beach was a weekend thing, the resort was five minutes away from us. Every Sunday morning, my mom and the househelp would fill in a very large wicker basket with a pot of steaming rice, fruits, nuts, granolas, marshmallows, dips, dressings and a neatly-tied bunch of barbecue sticks. An ice chest filled with seafood, hotdogs, and liempo would be tucked away in the car with the basket and a large duffel bag with all our clothes and toiletries. We would rent a cottage for the whole day and swim til we'd get really toasty skin (sunblock wasn't all the rage back then) and tired from all the swimming.
When we moved to Baguio, we missed the accessibility of saltwater and the cool seabreeze. Summer reminds me of memories like these,but I am not wasting this year without a scorcher. We all planned on taking the family for Theo's first summer swim and Porro Point, La Union will be the perfect place to make a set of memories again. Despite my condition, I will try and do a few laps like I used to.
Time to bring out the basket!

my tiramisu weekend...

I CAN DO THIS everyday. But well my body tells me to slow down as I am going through medications. I just looked forward to the weekend with my good friend Rey so we could share a pizza at Don Henrico's. I was only opting for a chicken schnitzel, fries and a slice of pizza. But I have been ordering that for x number of years so it was a Don Henrico's Super Supreme, Bacon Cheese Fries and the Tiramisu that I've been boasting about to Rey. It's a mouthwatering layer of rhum-soaked chiffon cake, chocolate chips, cream cheese, mascarpone and a rich chocolate cream with drizzled chocolate syrup. It's been good seeing Rey after a few months. My friends here in Baguio have been ditching me for quite sometime because they had a lot of things to do on their own.

At least I could swing my way for one last weekend before my chemotherapy starts and I lose a bit of hair, glow, weight and appetite. My friends from all over had been asking, worrying and praying that everything will be okay. But you know, sometimes, for a person like me who goes through a difficult ordeal like this, only wants to have her share of fun never really caring if I needed to be treated special or worried that I'll break like glass.

I'm thankful that I get to go out no matter what and I keep telling Rey not to worry, my body will tell me if I need go home and lie down. So after finishing up with a wonderful meal. We headed to City Lights to meet up with Waynie for after-dinner drinks. We did a few rounds of Vodka Tonic, Kahlua and Bailey's Cream and hammed it up for Rey's camera. After that, we went to a ramshacked carinderia that claims to serve a good round of pigar-pigar (sauteed beef strips with onions) but between you and me, Dagupan Night Market is hands down on this specialty.

When I got home, it made me realize more, how time is so short to even appreciate for some. At this point in my life, I am always thankful for every friend I meet, I never pass up the chance to tell them how special they are and how wonderful they've been all these years or for a certain period of time. I am thankful that I wake up to a new day and share it with the world. We must always remember, that, no matter how other people seem to cramp our style, we all live individually to make a difference in this life and not to hurt each other for our own satisfaction. If you want to have a good life, let them live the good life,too. So I'm sharing a slice of my favorite dessert to let them know how sweet it can be just to be a friend.

click!

I FOUND A YUMMY eyecandy! And no, it's not food. It's the camera I've been dreaming of! My very own Nikon camera! The all-new freshly manufactured Nikon DSLR D-3X just released this January. I just have to have it. I plan to travel a lot during the late part of the year and what better way to document all these with a very reliable buddy. It boasts 24.5 megapixels, this single-lens release has high resolution with shadow detail to control over highlight. I am so excited to take all pictures from the places I will go to and all the food I've been wanting to try. Aside from wanting to be a pediatrician, photography seconds the list. I want to be part of a photography contest someday, but that's a long shot, so I'll stick to this one. My dad has a very old Nikon camera that he keeps in his treasure chest and he relies on the brand for durabilty and quality, so since he shoot good pictures when he was still in Vietnam, I'm trusting the brand to do wonders for my own photos.

Session Road in Bloom - part 2

"UYY, I CAN'T come, really," my heart was crushed when J IM'ed me those words, followed by a text message from Cher that she couldn't come because of schedule conflicts. I logged out of my computer almost instantly to make a few phone calls on cancelling a few activities. I RSVP'ed late and my party of eight shrunk a little to six. I was looking at what to wear in my closet when Jacky called to confirm several times about how many we actually were. The street party will start promptly at 8pm and everybody will be there to see all the happenings in Session. The fireworks display will launch at Burnham Park and it'll be a blast as we all wil expect. I munched on the freshly-baked (and delivered) raisin-bread from Country Club, I was supposed to give it to J as my "Welcome to Baguio" gift and the three-foot cheese bread for Cher is sitting prettily in the fridge. Session looked more like a market rather than a sophisticated party, but tonight, it will definitely transform to a mini Mardi Gras! I will definitely run into people I love, people I don't wanna see and people I am related to, so I'll behave tonight and enjoy the remaining days of the festival. I took my medication obediently so I won't have to be in pain later in the night. Sayang, no alcohol and white sticks for me tonight or ever because my doctor says so. The streamers, blimps, balloons, colorful food are on display in every corner possible. Of course the cute guys will be there, we can spot the locals from the out-of-towners. I'll be logging out now, time to hit the town!

Session Road in bloom - part 1

SESSION ROAD IS so jampacked! The week is in its sweet glory as street vendors line up the two-way street. Me and the girls went to have dinner a few nights ago at North Drive. The chilly Baguio air was just too tempting to smoke a few cigs and drink wine. I didn’t like going out that night as I was too curled up with my food magazines, a cup of hot chocolate and a soft, big-ass bed with my laptop nestled comfortably on the nightstand if I wanted to go online.
But Jackie and Carly persistently wanted the dinner to happen that I was just obliged to go, slightly irritated.
The traffic to Leonard Wood Road was so bad I could have put on my make-up perfectly in slow motion…with eyes closed! As I got to North Drive, I had to make a beeline and find an impatient Carly tapping her white stick as she looked at her watch, when she saw me, her mood magically changed, brows creased were replaced by a camera-ready smile. I haven’t seen her for two years and just like any loving friend the hug welcomed me warmly. I got my social calendar full for the week, it’s insane. But this is what I missed and crave for. The natural adrenaline rush of doing several things until time runs out. Love the feeling! So anyway, I’m coordinating with J if he’s coming (fingers crossed) for the street party by Thursday, I sweetly convinced Sher to come with, too. My friends are preparing to meet J and Sher, I am so excited about this, so I’m taking a mental list of restaurants my girls wanna try. I’m so dying to see J for the first time in months! The street party will be as fabulous with her there. I’ve been hosting for my relatives for quite some time and it would be such a relief to be in the company of friends for a change where I can loosen up and bitch about things. Get ready to have some major fun!