i heart Saturdays

IT'S ALWAYS THE BEST day for everybody to unwind,do their own stuff,and getting in touch with their centers.

Growing up, my Saturdays were filled with household chores in the early morning , then a little snack to reward us with a job well done. Our tiny little heads would crowd the big,round mahogany table as we tiptoed excitedly as Mama handed out our ice cream cones. After finishing up with seconds and even third helpings, we'd run by the farm and catch dragonflies, climb trees and play hide-and-seek til one of us would get hurt or if the househelp would call out to lunch.

Those memories amuse me to this very day. My saturdays now are filled with quiet mornings, tinkering on my laptop with soft music, good food to cook, some errands to finish then hang out and have coffee with friends.

Gone are the days when I'd come home drunk and sleep til Sunday night just to crawl back to bed and waste it through Monday afternoons. It's a waste really. But when you grow up, you realize life is so short.You just want to spend it with people you care for, make memories with them and look back at those kinds of things as time goes...

PATIENCE

This had been a constant practice when I was still studying. Waiting from 5am to 2pm at Saint Louis University so that I could get good scheduled classes for the next semester only to find out that those subjects were dissolved and my enrolment would go below half-time status.
Then there 's that favorite magazine I wanted to buy years ago and I just miscalculated a step when suddenly someone else grabbed it before me. I always remind myself that maybe I should have taken that chance,seizing is good but thinking why it happened and why that good, spontaneous thing wasn't meant for me is even for better. Even if it irritates some of my friends, I take my time to do everything, it sharpens me to think fast. Im proud of myself that I always do,though.
I guess the biggest thing is to be patient where my life is right now. While everybody my age have families and seem to know where they're going, I feel, most of the time I am left out of that cycle. But when impatience hits me, I always hug optimism as my security blanket. I know that our lives are uniquely patterned to where it will lead us to. Maybe mine, in a road less traveled to something I will learn from one day. I'm always patient with what comes, because I know it will always reap great rewards...

FORGIVENESS

LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE, this is the one that's hard to master. Admittedly, for those who wronged me but is not asking to be forgiven will really make my temper skyrocket. But eventually, I have learned not to ask for anything. I've accepted that there are people who will realize it soon enough, or not at all.
I've been a sensitive person specially to my boyfriends of the past who have been sweethearts to put up with me. When they cheat, you forgive. When they lie, you forgive. How can I not give them that ounce of acceptance when apologizing? In one way or another, I've done bad things to other people the same way that they did to me.
I'm human to be hurt and pained in so many ways against my principles, beliefs and personal rules but I also believe in starting anew with somebody and starting with a clean slate.
It's just a waste of time to be mad at someone when you can have hold on to happier times. I just closed my eyes for a minute there, thinking of who to forgive and who to ask forgiveness to. I have a list of them, and I will not wait til Christmas for this wonderful moment to happen.

LOVE

MY FIRST ENTRY FOR MY BIRTHDAY MONTH. 12 days from today, I will turn thirty. And everyday, I will post one virtue that I will live by for the rest of my life. 12 virtues that my life will build from hereon.
Today's virtue is LOVE. I have a lot of this. But at one point in my life, I selfishly hid it from my public. From my friends and even my family. If I am hurt, the overflowing love just consumes me til I can give no more. I will never know what I missed not giving out, but it will take a lifetime to makeup for it.
I will never deprive love to anybody who asks for it. my heart will be strong and I keep praying that in time this weakest muscle of my body will be strongest til I breathe my last.

not this time

AS I WRITE THIS, I'm reconnecting with all my friends. When you go through a difficult stage and a possible road block in your life, friends just get you up, aside from family. For no reason, I have tried to shut myself out from the funny, adventurous, and possibly experiences I could learn from. But now, I am ready to take it all in.
One of the things, that have, perhaps, stained my friendship with almost everybody was because of a certain someone who they were common friends with. But I've realized how much I missed just for this simple, silly reason.
I'm a very sociable person and just look at the mess I made just to get away from it all. i left behind a growing number of curious friends who just wondered why I had to go haiatus on them. But it won't happen anymore. not this time..my friends are all important versus one unimportant person who broke my heart

a pre-travel thought

I HATE PACKING. Absolutely hate it! I'm the only one in my family who packs sloppily, throwing things in the luggage the last minute with no organization. For CeeCee and the rest of my sisters and brothers, I see how packing is an art for them. They could tuck everything in neat rolls of clothes and still get to zip their luggages in a clean finish. I'd like to think I'm the only abnormal, left-out family member who couldn't be as finesse as the rest of them.

San Diego will be a welcoming change from this unforgiving weather. And like any traveller, people don't pack weeks before, we pack the last minute, that's the beauty of it, I know if my mother reads this entry, she'll shake her head disapprovingly. The thing is Daddy's not getting any better since last night,if his temperature blows, the trip will be moved a few days til he gets well. Hopefully, everything will be okay as days progress, I'm getting restless with watching the rain so much, I want to try airsoft, pottery classes, flamenco down Pebble Beach and order a yummy chili dog at Pink's. One more week..

the flu outbreak

IT KILLS ME that all I did for the entire week was rest due to my "unlabeled" flu, thankfully it wasn't the glamorous and most celebrated A(H1N1) virus. The rain had been going at it for weeks now, making everybody susceptible to flu. Suspended classes from the different schools around the city were in place. I hope this will stop as it compromises everybody's health and well-being.
I hope the rainy days will all be behind us, this flu is getting rdiculous by the number

fixing what's broke

I HAD A LITTLE Carousel toy that my brother broke when we were kids. It was brand new and I only played it once or twice when I took it out of the pretty little orange package. When something distracted me for a minute there, my brother instantly took it out of my little hands and tripped while he was running away from me. The little Carousel broke and its little winding button at the back didn't budge when I forced it to function. Instead of crying, I took out a screwdriver and unscrew the nails and broke it down to pieces further. After much deliberation and amazement from my mother, I had the toy run again but not as efficient as before.

That memory re-surfaced again when a good friend of mine had finally decided to talk to me, we have said our apologies and are trying to mend the pieces in the process. It will be a long haul, but we have a lifetime to mend it. For friendships that are worth keeping such as this, the effort of saving will be a work-in-progress. I meant to keep her in my life simply because she is part of who I am today and the memories of the past are worth remembering. Even the painful ones are worth keeping and etched as beautiful, the way they're supposed to be. i agree with some people who says that keeping a list of friends isn't a numbers game. They will be the ones who will stay and tell you what you need to know instead of gossiping your flaws to the world. There are just so many things to keep track of. And a life that is deemed too short for all of us needs nothing short of a miracle.

my Arabian Knight

I GET BORED with long weekends. But Fourth of July seems to agree with the beautiful sunny weather except with me. My throat itched real bad last Thursday and cough began to surface which I hated first of all. Then fever struck a few hours before Cher's arrival. I popped a few paracetamols hoping I'd feel better.

Cher got really impatient and was bitching on the fact that I was arriving late again. She shivered in the cold as I hugged her. When we checked her in at the hotel. This really hot guy was standing beside me and smiled at me immediately. Oh my! He is so handsome! I had never seen such beautiful charcoal-black eyes! I mean, yeah, mine was black with coffee-brown rims on the irises, but his was...darn it! I'm so mesmerized. And his smile, crooked, lopsided, a little cocky. Handsome in its entirety. I was certain he's a foreigner. "Arab," he said in a Mid-Eastern accent. I shook my head several times and try to take out any sense of what I really wanted in a guy. I wasn't attracted easily to guys with accents, decents, bloodlines,furs, I am very picky as I am with food. But that's the spice,isn't it? How can you put labels to people without knowing who they really are? It's not like it's their fault they look the way they should.
But I've been over that a couple of times. I see no problem.
So getting back to the story we surprisingly found ourselves on the couch starting fun conversation like we knew each other for a long time. He was leaving for Manila the day after and join his buddies for a football match. He easily opened up to me about his life (and how he is so much single!) and he was just staying in his room for the night with nothing to do. So without even thinking, I invited him to join us for dinner.
Dinner was, expectantly, fun, at least for me and Abe. Cher was in her own world loving the town for the first time and not minding us, although, she kept pinching me to invite a few male friends of my own to keep her company. We headed to Gilligans for a few after-dinner drinks and he shyly said he was beginning to like me, but the Maria Clara in me said it was too fast to even flirt a little with a prince who would not return for sometime. So I did what every woman do..be an "all-tease, no-tickle" for the first meet.
The perfect gentleman that he was, he opened doors, foots the bill, takes me home (of course, with Cher around), he also spoke in broken but fluent English, so everything turned out really amazing that evening.
The next day, we all had breakfast and headed down the stables, gazebo, and the bakeshop, then at Starbucks located at one of the quaint,little cottages at John Hay. We all had a good time and some kilig moments that me and Abe shared. (In which I will only document in my personal diary,dear readers)
When it was time to part, he handed me a little powder blue box and told me he'll come back and marry me. I laughed, of course and handed him back the box, but he would not accept it. So I threw it inside my bag and told him that if he comes and visit again, I'll tour him around the city, avoiding the subject I was a little uncomfortable of.
He looked at me deeply and said he'll come back to marry the person he had been waiting for a long, long time. Awww, for me all I thought of was, he was just being sweet and maybe meeting a wonderful girl like me breaks him because he was pressed for time. We promised we would keep in touch and that I would visit his country soon so as he bid goodbye, I think I heard my heart break a little, could it be, that I liked him, too? I took out a fortune cookie out of my pocket, one where I didn't get to break and share thoughts with that morning..it read: "Don't let this moment pass you by.", how timely.
That night I slept so deeply that I forgot about the little box Abe gave me. So when I had to drink a glass of water in the middle of the night, I took out the blue box out of its paper bag, curious of its content. And there it was, sitting in an aquamarine cushion! A shiny platinum ring encrusted with diamonds all around the rim, inside the ring was a neat engraved word spelled CARTIER. Oh my! A Cartier! How could he possibly give something so ridiculously expensive to someone he just knew?! Maybe he was serious about his plans. But what am I afraid of? If I already started liking him from the first day I met him? I toyed with the ring but I didn't have the courage to wear it on my finger just..yet.
Mental note to self: send him an email. No. Scratch that. IM him when he lands. This calls for a serious talk. I just think everything should start from simple, uncomplicated things. Maybe when things progress as time goes, we'll take it from there.

I am, after all, worthy of a Cartier...and more.

my random thoughts..post-hibernation

Wow! Has it been that long that I was in hibernation mode? After endless packets of green tea, breakfast salads and loving the colorless liquid we all like calling water, I see dramatic changes in my goal and I'm loving it! The downside of it is that my body can keep a 48-hour cycle without rest, like it always wants to stay active and when my body goes downtime, it can only take 4 hours of sleep and then I'm that energizer bunny again.
And just when I'm about to wave the white flag to being sick, the longtime-planned trip of Cher to Baguio will happen this weeked. How will I call it off when she's rode the bus already? Maybe I should be a good friend and pick her up at the terminal tonight then pop a couple of aspirins on our way to the bar.
My friend Tina has posted a shoutout on her wall just to find me, I think it's embarrassing (chuckle,chuckle) to put out a search party for me like that
I feel that I'm not doing enough to make what I want, work. I guess I just have to keep trying. I wish Ben was here. It feels empty not having him around. Sometimes, I just want to call him so that hearing his voice will make me feel okay. But I don't need him to make me feel okay, I need to be secure about myself and the day I had let him go was the day I knew I was on my own. Whoah! Psh! Drama! I'll just push that thought at the back of my head and keep singing Miley Cyrus's song The Climb.
But you know, I tell myself this: it's okay to fail, it's okay to think of things and people we need but eventually, we just need ourselves to pull through at the end of the day.

the diet mode

FOR A FOOD CRITIC like me, it's so hard to just decide on a diet come-when. It takes discipline, hardwork and mental agony to be in a diet phase but in the end, the results are favorable. So one of my best friends call me and announced that she was getting married this November and I'm part of the entourage (gasp!).
"Hunny, cherry red ang motif ko,ha?" she informed me chuckling. I gasp some more as red is such a tricky color to wear without me looking like a giant tomato. So here I am, saying my mental goodbyes to sweets, colored drinks, carbs and fat and hello to greens and mighty fiber. The good thing is that I have faith in myself in making it to the finish line. I take pride in not eating rice for a few months in exchange for multi-grains and granolas. When I'm in a diet mode, my brother feels so guilty that he joins me in eating healthy choices, too.
Mom, in her nutritionist-mode, has never been happy doubling her weekly supplies of fruits and vegetables and stocking them in the pantry. A mix of anxiety and excitement overwhelms me when I get to this program and I will embrace it with determination.As a ritual however, I will take one last happy meal of pizzas, tiramisu and fries to seal the deal. And after...Let the weigh-in begin!

chillin'

I JUST FINISHED watching the season finale of Gossip Girl, sigh! Chuck and Blair at last! I was so engrossed in watching the full episode that I had to press back a million times to make sure I didn't miss important plots and lines in the story. Still a lot fo cliffhangers for the next season but the finale was worth it.
Anyhoo, I am hoping to get a few things aligned for the next few months, can't say here what it is, but very important, nonetheless. I have decided to make it my baby project before others take over or grab the chance. To say the least, it's mine! Hahahah. This is just a quick one for now. I don't like hanging out in cyberspace on most of my free time. Time to log off and catch up on sleep, rest and everything in between.

29 cheap thrills

I'm happy with little things that I seemed so programmed with all my life. Simple, simple things that I consider, that perhaps to some, a luxury. Let me just start so you'd have an idea...


1. Burts' Bees Colony Collapse Disorder Lipbalm classic - I don't like lipbalm growing up, because of the greasy petroleum jelly-like smell and feel on the lips. Like any normal experimenting girl, I'd track on Chapsticks and Carmex because everybody was using lip balm and I wanted to see what the fuss was all about, but I wasn't crazy about these two products when I met Burts' Bees. I had the perfect excuse using it because I was always in and out of air-conditioned places and I get cold sores. The best thing about it is, the peppermint tickle my lips way longer than I would expect! When I wake up in the morning, it does wonders on making the lips so soft! I made my friends try it and they've been loyal to it eversince.

2. Johnson's Baby Oil in Aloe Vera - every after bath I use this to get the moisture locked in my skin and to soothe tired muscles after a long tiring day at work. Body lotion just wouldn't do for me. Oil also doubles as a lasting stretch to my cologne. I would pat this behind my ears, wrists, at my nape and collarbones and layer it with cologne and presto! It lasts the whole day because of the concentration of oil and alcohol.

3.Rayon - my pillowcases and bedsheets are made of this fabric. Cheap fabric actually. What I love about it, is its smooth, almost slippery surface that makes me fall asleep, my hands and feet are always happy.

4.Dinners-out, Lunch-Out with friends or family - I consider eating out a luxury because of the time my friends or family and me put in on the weekends or a spontaneous weekday. I'm a big believer of get-togethers and the most important conversations are shared around food.

5. my shoebox - yes, it's real,lol! It's not only something virtual. Whenever we move houses, this is the first thing I rescue from getting lost. I have a shoebox full of memories of friends, ex-boyfriends, jewelries, tickets, keys, snippets, notes, trinkets, and doodles. I open this once in a while, when nostalgia seems to hit big. It reminds me where I came from and what I did to deserve such beautiful words and valuable things. I don't plan to scrapbook it since it would be easy access to people who will accidentally stumble on it. The only shoebox I'd share to the world are my blogs, and that's how public I can get.

6. Beach - every chance I get, this is the place I love running and escaping to. The best relaxation for the mind. It calms and invigorates my nerves and kill stress.

7. my playlists - during work, travels or when I have to catch up with doing a few stuff, music needs to surround me to keep me in the mood

8. FB and Twitter - I get excited when there is so much mail to read that friends from long ago have somehow find their way to find me! My social calendar has never been full!

9. Flavors - vanilla, coconut, butter, raw sugar, caramel, cheese, custard, soy milk, pomegranates, almond are my basic flavors of sweets, funny that I never developed a liking for chocolate, but these flavors give me a natural high

10. Comfort Food - hard-boiled eggs in sauteed tomatoes and onion sauce, turbo roasted ginger soy chicken, bicho-bicho, sapin-sapin, basasong and bangus are my ultimate comfort food. These foods are staple when we were growing up. Nothing beats the a good childhood memory eating these.

11. DEC - Sundays are filled with these. My favorite Chinese Deli in San Juan is my eyecandy for a lazy Sunday morning with Carmela and Kuya Sid. My basket full of Chicken pies, soymilk, taro, maki, squidballs, hakaw, chili sauce and meatballs makes a good foodtrip.

12.MakeUp - I've developed a fascination with color palettes, mascara and lipstick since I was 5 years old. I would sneak in my mom's room and put makeup all over my face and pretend I'm an actress. Fast forward today, I go out wearing my cream blush and lip tint on an ordinary day. But if I have to dress to the nines, I know my makeup geography exceptionally well. They always ask me what salon I go to. lol!

13.Don Henrico's in Session Road - nothing beats an original. Their interiors changed a little. But I wouldn't have it in any of their franchises in Manila because the food here stays the same. Their chicken schnitzel and hand-cut fries are my weaknesses and their tiramisu block is an absolute handsdown!

14. my favorite websites - philippine entertainment portal, sephora, eonline, spot, and gossip girl are the reasons I slave a few extra hours on the net. They are so addictive to visit!

15. my Red Nike Mary Janes - they're like sporty ballet flats and in cherry red! It emphasizes how white and smooth my feet are. This is my favorite pair because during weekdays, I always find myself waling and walking to meetings in heels and wedge pumps, they just relax my tootsies from the harsh elevation of standing all the time for nearly nine hours.

16. Lacoste sports bag in Pearl Grey - my bestfriend hand carried this from London that's why the sentimental value is like a million pesos to me. Always handy and they match perfectly well when I wanna feel classy when doing outdoors-y stuff.

17. Suzie red piggy bank - I bought this at Humor Post and I just fell in love when the little pig had heart-shaped polka dots all over its body with a slit on its back,since I find it a hassle to bring lots of coins. I feed Suzie so she's get full.

18. Bvlgari's Petit et Mamans, Polo Woman by Ralph Lauren, Clean Fresh Laundry, Baby Girl, Victoria's Secret Pink, Woman by Paul Smith, Clinique's Happy Heart and Liz Claiborne's Curve - I live by these tried and tested scents, my exes, friends know how familiar these scents are and they almost always associate it with me.If I had a favorite it would include all of them.

19. Monthly Specials - my loot of magazines are a heap. From YES!, OK, Yummy, Food, Preview, Mega and Candy, I read articles about food, makeup and fashion.

20. Dove - I think I've used up all their selections but my most favorite would definitely be the Dove bar in Olive oil, smells delightful and does all the work for my skin without me having to worry about a single thing.

21. Food Reviews - I base my food finds on food reviews and I find joy that people get to try and share what they think of the food. As much as possible, I don't like repeating the same restos unless it's really worth going back to, I feel there's so much that my palate has to try.

22. Taho - my love affair with soy milk started with Taho. I just loved it so much I would wake up at 5 am everyday during highschool just to wait for Mamang Taho to pass by.

23. Lush, Milk bar soaps - When I take long baths, I use at least 5-8 soaps. Lush was an obvious hangout to go, the scents of different soaps were just too hard to resist. It's so rich and luxurious. I love peppermint, and butter soymilk soaps. HUMAN also offers milk soaps and I like their version of Almond Soap,so I good I love to eat it, lol!

24. Abonn Milk Bath Salt - I placed the milk salt in a jar unlabeled and kept it inside my drawer, my male co-works rummaged through it and took a spoonful and chewed it regretfully. Hahaha. Anyway, the milk salts are that good to smell. Perfect for exfoliating.

25. iPod - I just need pocket music everywhere!

26. Pill kit - my need of my daily medication is so important and I didn't want to keep peeling medicines from its wrapper, so handy

27. Bench Hand Sanitizer in Kiwi - I unconsciously hold on to railings, pull out money, taxi doors and hold Theo. So I need a pocket size germ killer that makes my hands feel fresh and clean when water's not available.

28. Lock n' Lock - my perfect baon companion for soup lunches and sauces. spill-proof!

29. Rosary - prayer is so important. And my Rosary is my weapon when I feel down and out, or happy and thankful

indoors

The rainy weekend brought almost everybody to be curling up in their warm and cozy houses instead of trekking the malls and walk-throughs in the park. My dad still sulk over the fact that he didn't get his money's worth on the Pacquiao-Hatton fight, there was so much laughing in my head.
I did my share by making sure the four-hour sleep didn't get to me and got dressed, excited to see my nephew Theo. I was wanting to try a bottle of cologne my mom stashed away and I was crushing on for a long time. But Theo was used to my Paul Smith perfume that he hugged me tight everytime he took a chance whiffing at my neck. His tiny little hands cupped my face and was cooing as if he wanted to say something affectionate. He is my slice of heaven..I got some toasted siopao delivered and torn strips of the soft bread and he happily chewed it, excitedly anticipating the next bite.
A few hours of playing with him, I head off to meet some of my friends, Waynie and Rey having dinner at Don Henrico's, we had good conversation over chicken schnitzel, spaghetti,spuds, pizza, iced tea and our favorite Tiramisu.
As much as I had to shy away from cyberspace, I had some few things to download and upload, plus talk to my sister Chris on Skype. I'm getting behind correspondence,too. Blame it on the rain for making me so lazy to just get up and get on with the program. I can't wait for Gossip Girl to have their season finale so I could do the complete DVD Marathon. I am totally in love iwth the Blair-Chuck chase it's killing me! What's next on my list that I wanna do indoors? Cluedo?Taboo? Parcheesi? Oh yeah, cooking is so much fun and Theo will be my very own critique. I gotta start banging the pots and pans for the rainy months!

pitter-patter, drip, drip, splash!

WHILE MANILA BASKS in the sweltering heat of the sun, Baguio shows no sign of heat with the cold, rainy afternoons and evenings to stay. Almost all members of my family are coming down with the flu and our help had been kind enough to prepare different kinds of soups for lunch and dinner meals. Of course the occassional iced fruits for desserts (I couldn't get enough of the buttery sweetness of avocados!). The roads and pavements have been slippery for days now and the fog gets thick as days progress. I live 5 minutes away from the city where our home is tucked cozily among pinetrees. Years ago, we lived near the University belt where jeepneys honk loud and we get robbed a lot. Now, my parents appreciate the quiteness of home and the sleepy lullaby that the night wind brings to their bedroom window.. We couldn't really feel the heat of summer since Baguio rains pretty much all year round.
I can't for Sher to visit! Everyday, she always asks how I am and she makes sure to call everyday to know if I'm okay. She's such a wonderful friend to have, I only met her last year and she's very caring and thoughtful when it comes to her friends. I'm glad I'm one of them. We're still planning on when's the best month for her to visit since both our social calendar is full for April and May.
My brother, Woodee went to Clark to train employees at his company and went to Manila to join my sister Car and brother Sid for dinner at the Shang, and they really had a great time. The next day, Woodee came home with a box of my Dad's favorite roasted chicken from Savory and it made my mom and dad's breakfast more enjoyable that day. I had my own cravings to deal on this particular rainy day which were my Twilight series books (nesting comfortably in my bookshelf in Manila), a John Lloyd-Sarah movie rerun, playing with my neffy Theo, watching Jon and Kate plus eight, Gossip Girl reruns, listening to the Circus album of Eraserheads and chocolate cinnamon with cream cheese frosting from Cinnabon.
Oh by the way, there was this one disturbing site that I came across and it showed how the most delicious food can be at its monter-sized, sinful and nightmarish look. I go to the site and food doesn't make me hungry anymore. It's appropriately called, "This is why you're fat". Gosh, at times, there are just some sites that I regret going across to. It's one of the many reasons I'd rather deal with the good old hardbounds, paperbacks, and TV. But it looks like the rainy days will be here for awhile and you do all you can so you won't get bored...

over Iced Peaches and Mangoes...

WEEKENDS MEANT FAMILY bonding. I have been busy the whole week running errands, tests and coming home every night at 9pm to reheated dinners while my parents announce they would call it a night. I spent the early afternoon watching Animal Planet with my mom and the rest of my day checking old videos from family European travels and Theo's very own video movie. My parents will be visiting my sister Christine in San Diego then cruise with my aunts and uncles in Vancouver so it was important that I archive everything and have it burned on DVD copies for their alis-bayan box.
It will be a really big weekend on July 18th as we celebrate Theo's, Carmela's and Daddy's birthdays, since my parents will be leaving on the 20th of that month for their annual out-of-the-country trip. The problem is, I have a surprise party for someone on the 18th and organized a reunion of friends on July 19th in Manila! I guess I have to think about my plans thoroughly.
I opened a Twitter account and I'm still deciding if I like it or not. Facebook's been going downhill for me after the interface early this year and I stopped threading my blogs from blogspot to my Multiply account for my semi-public audience plus I've been a nine-hour computer user since February, it would really do me good if I talk to people personally instead, so I'm cutting back on my hours and doing at least 30 minutes of online checking on an everyday basis or just stay away from it for a day or two.
I watched my mom as she spooned syrup on her bowl of peaches and mangoes, she talked in a low,soft tone as she cleared her throat, she shivered slightly when she informed me that she was coming down with a fever. I listened to her stories as she dozed off to sleep. I made sure the househelp prepared her late lunch of sinigang na salmon when she woke up. The weather was unforgiving since Friday, it rained hard and the cold was like sharp needles piercing through our skins, I heard Manila was a scorcher and I wish I could share the weather down there. I cuddled beside mama, and hugged her close to me. Hmmm.. this is so comforting than a cup of hot cocoa...

A CAN OF PORK and BEANS is staring straight at me from the panrty as I began uploading a few of my files online. I was curious what pork and beans taste like when canned. I have eaten it ONCE when I was a kid, but it never appealed to me at all when I was growing up. Instead, Fabada (a Spanish dish of slow-cooked white beans flavored with pork knuckles and Spanish sausages like morcillas) and purple cabbage salad is preferred at mealtimes dipped with brioche or baguette.
My parents didn’t really care for de-lata as they are leaning towards organic food when it comes to our daily diet. My mom is a nutritionist-dietitian, and anything that’s considered junk food is only welcome in the household for a few times. If it becomes a habit, she takes out the rulebook of the house. Canned goods to them are emergency food, and something you eat when you need to rush for a night time trip, or something convenient to pack.
When we were kids, there was a steady supply of meat, both fresh and frozen at the kitchen pantry because we needed all the building nutrients. When the six of us hit our teen years, fish, chicken and hefty servings of vegetables was a sight to see in the kitchen. Mama was always conscious of what we eat since diabetes and high blood run in our family history. All of us know how to cook and every small ingredient from sage, rosemary, dill, lentils, capers, celery salt, garlic salt, cloves, tumeric and cumin were all too familiar in our household. We were taught that a good meal comes in very unique flavors. Sure there were hits and misses in the dishes that we so lovingly prepared, but the essence of it, was preparing it fresh and delicious. If we had to use anything canned, this would only be something to support our cooking such as crème fresh. Our staff had been trained by us through the years, and such conversations would flow in our home..
“I like tomatoes”
HH: Fresh, stewed, or canned?
“What kind of roasted chicken shall we do today?”
HH: Maybe Rosemary Lemon, or we could do hainanese or ginger-garlic soy chicken
“What about adobo?”
HH: The one with giblets and liver is pretty good, but I cooked a three-day adobo in a claypot with coconut slivers and melt-in-your-mouth liempo
“Maybe a salad today?”
HH: Will we have Waldorf with walnuts or pili brittle or do you prefer a Russian potato salad with a choice of beetroot or rhubarb and smoked Norweigan salmon in place of bacon bits?
We tweak, improvise and add certain things that will adjust to our liking. We make traditions of good food that will someday be passed to our children and their children. Personally, to be able to appreciate the food served by others, I think learning it firsthand should come as priority. My mother taught me these things that's why my love affair for food never lost its fluorish...
Oh well, maybe I should open a can of pork and beans just for today to give my palate a break :)

a sun-kissed weekend

MY SUNBURN hurts really bad for the 2-day family outing. Last weekend, we planned on taking my nephew Theo on his first fun-in-the-sun experience. So last Sarturday, I packed my essentials and we drove an hour to a private resort in Bauang, La Union. It felt good to kick off our shoes and step into the white sand. Some caretakers were there to take our stuff and loaded it to a large blue-striped gazebo which was near a boat. Nobody within a mile radius was there, the beach was ours even if we ran naked along the shore line. We had our house help buy fresh tilapia down the market while Yaya Remy started on heating up the grill. The liempo was soaked in reddish brown liquid which might be a mix of ketchup and soy sauce and some secret ingredients Yaya doesn’t want to reveal. My sister made sure the bottled drinks were cold as she reached for the ice chest. I was in-charge of the easiest task that day – to babysit Theo. I love how babies smell! Like baby powder and milk, he keeps tugging my hair endlessly and jumps like a frog in my lap. It was a sweet excuse not to unload anything, or prepare the table for lunch. The wind blew softly and the waves curled and crashed leaving a foamy white surface against the shore. Theo’s eyes marveled in excitement as he jumped and screamed, his eyes drooped constantly because the sound of the waves was an inviting lullaby. We took him to the shore and let him play, but as the minutes pass, the waves were getting a bit violent and the wind blew painfully. It scared him so much he cried on the second attempt as his father dipped him at waist-level. So they packed the blanket at the umbrella and headed to the gazebo while the grown-ups were left to swim while waiting for lunch to be announced. It felt a bit lonely not having a few people around to share the beach with us. I swam with my sister and a few friends til our throats hurt with all the salt taken in from the seawater and our eyes were a painful red from diving ridiculously to the ocean bed. My arms and legs were golden and my cheeks were brick red from all the heat. I forgot to re-apply my sunblock so I looked like a tomato and when a cold towel started to hit my face, I think I heard something sizzle due to the heat of my skin.
When we got to Baguio in the late afternoon, I was so tired I slept as soon as I hit the sack. When I woke up, everybody was packing for the early morning at Asin Hot springs in Riverview. We took a 10 am breakfast at my sister’s house in Camp Allen and headed to a thirty-minute drive to Asin Hot Springs. It was a crowded Sunday so I got bummed out because the all the pools seem congested but they cleared when it rained hard, haha, what a funny way to give me room to swim. The pools were really big and it overlooked mountains of wild forests, it was so amazing to just look at it. I didn’t dare to swim in the hot springs. It was freaking hot and steamy! The Lunch table was filled with liempo, tinola, adobo, inihaw na bangus, and ensalada while Theo was busy sucking on a big ripe mango and picked up a meaty liempo bone with his small hands when we weren’t looking.
After a few laps in the pool, we decided to head home early to hear Mass. We had dinner at Don Henrico’s right after and shared a big fudge brownie ala mode to cap our evenings.
This was starting to turn to a wonderful summer spending it with family. It was definitely my Christmas in April. Hope you had yours in grandiose style, too!

my first quarter review and then some.

THE FIRST QUARTER has come to pass in a blur. If I were to do a review of what I did for the first few months of the year, I would have to say “ an impatient road to recovery”, I have blogged a couple of times about my whiny days doing nothing but rest. And if I don’t help myself to get out of this putter, I will do the rest of 2009 with little interaction and a lot of reaction. I am responding well to treatments and medications which is a clear indication of a hopeful future.
Day by day, I am reconnecting with my faith, and slowly talking to the Lord about everything I do and feel. In silence, I listen to Him speak to me. He gave me this time as an opportunity to be able to get to know Him and his ways. My parents, Mama, most specially, remind me to pray and listen to His words. These were days where I meditate on the things done in the past and things I will be able to do soon. Some of us are scared of what the future will bring when we should feel really excited about what God’s plans are for us.
I realize that there will be people who will only like you for a certain time then disappear on you like they never knew you at all. Of course it made me upset in some ways, but that decision was not my choice to make. People we know grow apart with us, sometimes, when the future is too much or too little for them to handle, they tend to let go of your hand and would want to brave the future alone. Through the years, I learned not to be miserable about it, so instead, I pray that they may find the answers to their questions and live a good life to where the roads may take them.
The April month have started, I’ll try to live each day with purpose and appreciation as I have not given it much thought before. I am looking forward to the coming days that I will heal and that life will be better for me and those whose lives I will touch when I come home…

happy kind of tired

I HAD NO CHOICE but to go to Manila and accomplish a few things in which my mom shook her head in disappointment and reminded me that postponing things will just heavy the burden, why oh why did I put it aside?
My brother-in-law H, called me the night before to remind me that he was picking me up at four in the morning. I grumbled heavily as I took a little baby luggage out of my dresser and packed my essentials. In my PJs, I had to say goodbye to Tina online as I prepared a few things before the lazy 6-hour ride to Manila. I made a mental note to remind yaya to find my sunblock when she woke up before I leave.

6am, Tarlac

My eyes peered painfully down the dusty road, the sun wasn't kind as it began to scorch through our skins on the reflective glass. H had to run a few errands down Camp Aquino and the Akon CD started to get to my nerves as it started its third round on the player. Good thing Jerve, H's brother, switched to an Eraserheads CD when he noticed Akon burning our ears. We were headed out to the expressway soon and we were taking our breakfast down there.


11 am, my Apartment
Jerve carried my luggage at the staircase and I took it gladly as he waved goodbye. I looked around the apartment, my brother Sid and my sister Car were at work. I plopped down my unmade bed as I decided to run my errands at 1pm, my head wobbled a bit, I wanted to get some sleep but I reminded myself that I can't delay things anymore and needed it to be done right away besides, I deserved this torture.


3pm, Pasay
I tapped my fingers impatiently as the traffic went from bad to worse. The sun bakes painfully,too! MOA was filled with people taking strolls with a cold drink in their hands. I was parched, but I needed to find an office squeezed between buildings. As soon as I was done with my errand, rush hour was about to begin, so I hurriedly searched for a taxi lane as I desperately swallowed hard to fight my urge to get a curry puff at Old Chang Kee. It was a choice I was making, the sky looked gloomy and I think hard rain was going to fall any minute, so I bade goodbye to my food craving and hailed a very old cab that was waiting for me on the line. I hope the cab gets to Kyusi in one piece.

8pm, the Grill

Grr..Sher! I was waiting for two hours at our watering hole to get a good decent meal and already my energy is beginning to shut down. She came hurriedly and ordered two bottles of beer for her while I fought my weariness throughout my chicken barbecue dinner. Part of me wanted to go home and hide between the covers of my bed but a part of me encouraged me to eat so I could take my medicine. I couldn't remember how Sher dropped me off at my apartment that night because I was sooo tired, what a day!



Saturday

My sister Car had a couple of pizzas and pasta delivered at home. We were just in front of the TV enjoying a beef shawarma pizza and hanging out. We planned to spend the day together, but H called and said we had to leave by 2 pm, bummer! Our plans were cut short as I packed some last minute stuff and waited for H to pick me up. We left Kyusi with boxes of Krispy Kremes and pastries from Breadtalk. It was interesting for me, H and Jerve to have six hours together. We stopped at a few pitstops to buy food, rest a bit and we finally settled at Isdaan in Gerona Tarlac for some major pinoy comfort food fix. The big fish that was a facade of the restaurant gave us an exciting welcome. As we entered the restaurant, several nipa huts afloat the wide river with japanese kois swimming happily underneath it. The staff were dressed in traditional baro and saya, a few musikeros were behind them as they waited for us to be seated. I looked around really excited with my surroundings as bright candles lit up the pathways of bamboo and straws, I looked at the water and the kois were jumping, causing to splash water on us a little bit. Our orders came buko juice, chicken, sinigang na baboy, and pla-pla, while we savored th food and its ambience, lights went off to support Earth Hour, so, although, I couldn't see what I was eating, candles were everywhere to light up the entire restaurant. And the harana was at its most beautiful tune tempting everyone to sing along. I will come back to Manila, tiring trip or not.