subtle Saturday

SATURDAY MORNING greeted us happily as we exited the doors of the office. The smell of smoked sausages fanned through the air and we wondered where it came from. A few meters from where I was standing was the longest sausage links that stretch from the Convention Center to as far as my eyes could see. Guarding the links were students from a neighboring university wearing chef uniforms and toques. Last week was the biggest pizza the city could make, this time the longest sausage link in the history of Baguio. It made our mouths water. What gives? It's the city's Centennial,so they're celebrating it in any way possible.The night before, our boss invited us for her party in Green Valley for that morning. One of our friends, Joyce brought her van to bring us there and the first time I saw the van, it looked so old I was just waiting for it to collapse in pieces with the wheels rolling to the streets something out of a funny car commercial. We were halfway there when the van acted out and broke down somewhere in a place we weren't familiar with and where taxis are hardly passing by. We were all pissed because not only did our boss not pick us (her guests) up, we walked up a hill, lost and so hungry. My legs were shaking from too much walking and then, just when we thought a mirage appeared, a real taxi answered our prayers!
We were only too happy to be squished like tomatoes inside the cab and the driver snorted but his mood did not put our happy moods down. So I remembered that it was my cheat day today, so I had to choose what food to reward myself with. Grilled? Baked? or.. I know! I let the taxi drop me off at Central Park, the chinese restaurant that nestled sweetly in Legarda road, far away from the busy streets of the Longganisa Festival. A waiter greeted me warmly and had me seated at one of the big tables. I ordered a regular iced soda, and lechon macau rice topping, then just when I was dreaming of the calorie fest I was going to have, a dimsum cart wheezed its way to my direction. Piles of little bamboo steamers boast itself of pretty,mouthwatering steamed meats! I wanted the japanese siomai bamboo steamer(ground pork meat with onions, water chestnuts, turnips wrapped in nori) but I settled for the house specialty Central Park siomai which consists of the same japanese siomai but with ham and oodles of sweet jellyfish wrapped around the meat. It tasted heavenly when dipped in chili oil, soy sauce and calamansi! A few minutes later my order arrived in large serving, the crispy crown roast pork piled in a beautiful plate with pickled papaya and rice and liver dip on the side. I devoured it slowly and chewed it enjoyably as the crunch and flavors exploded in my mouth wishing that this happy feeling stays with me for the rest of the day. The fat, delectably delicious, had been too much, so I shoved the rest of it aside as I sipped the remaining soda in my glass and sighed. My eyes were a little tired from last night's work but my mood that was nearly spoiled by a funny, unfortunate event did not hinder me from enjoying a sinful cheat day. As I cap the meal, I was craving for ice cream from Jollibee. I hailed a cab and requested him to pass by the drive-thru for just one order- Ube Cheesy Magic (crushed ice with milk and sweet yam sprinkled with cheese), it was delightful to just eat a spoonful at a time during traffic on the way home.
Saturday is an easy day to lose moods only to get lifted up by simple pleasures such as these. Have a great weekend.

what simple things bring..

PEOPLE WHO KNOW me know that I’m always in for cheap thrills. I am never one for expensive stuff and feel comfortable about it for a long time. Gadgets for one, don’t appeal to me as make-up do. Well, of course make-up and a few other things like facial cream, soaps and massage oils need a bang-in-the-buck to truly pamper the skin which goes a long, long way. Physical investment, I would call it.
Anyway, I had a few expensive things that went pfft on me, like my phone which I had spent so much, only to realize that I couldn’t send and receive messages after the memory card acted out on the software. Two weeks in the service center and a few thousand pesos later, my phone’s memory was freshly showered and I had no interest whatsoever in keeping it anymore since all the sentimental value of its pictures, videos and messages from friends had no trace of kilo, mega or gigabyte on it. So I rebelled and got myself the most low-end phone I could ever find, the one with yellow light on it? Yeah, that one. And then when I started to love it, it found its way to someone who needs it most a.k.a. stolen.
Tomorrow, I will shop for my phone that Ive been crushing on since the day I saw it. And I will be reconnected to all my friends again without logging on the net, I hate that I spend so much time virtually other than get in touch with people, seeing them smile, hearing them laugh and get a warm hug.

Here are my 30 cheap thrills that I love to share with you

1. hugging,kissing my baby nephew Theo
2. looking forward to everyday that I will see my baby in Bahrain by next year
3. tweeting and catching up with tweets
4. buying an affordable Nokia 7210 Supernova
5. my Harry Potter collection books, Friends
6. a sturdy glass bookcase with all my favorite authors, magazines, DVD collection, books and a real photo album of family events
7. sweet and thoughtful messages on my phone
8. mama’s warm hands
9. an occasional regular iced soda
10. looking at the mirror and amazed at how beautiful I can be despite of being tired, stressed and sad
11. lightly salted French fries and hot caramel sundae from McDonalds
12. listening to 60s music with a good book to read on a Sunday mornings
13. cooking and hosting dinners
14. digital scrapbooking
15. chicken turbo Tuesday nights with my brother W
16.f amily get-togethers over funny videos and midnight snacks
17.Pares with J and friends
18. sweets, definitely
19. someone saying “I love you” to me for no particular reason
20. Cadburry chocolates!
21. people who don’t know me personally get to know me through my blogs and Twitter
22. reading the Lucy Torres-Gomez articles every Sunday
23. losing pounds without lifting a finger (and yes that happens to me luckily)
24. the liberating feeling that you could talk to someone you used to love and not bother making him a part of your daily routine
25. my very own book launch someday
26. the pure, innocent smile of a child
27. the tranquil, peaceful solace of a beach
28. a kiss that makes me melt like butter on a hot toast
29. people saying that they are enjoying their lives just as it should be
30. family..

waving the Travellers' Flag..

LATELY, I GET FASCINATED WITH THE WORLD. The cultures, food and even the smallest trivia I could come across if it’s a different country. In my line of work, I talk to Americans every second for 11 hours straight in a day. Then when I get home, I talk to my special someone who’s from the Middle East, although he talks in broken English, it made me realize that our conversations need special care specially how I say it and when. Arabs, in my understanding are like Americans, always straight to the point, never sugarcoating whatever needs to be said. Sometimes, I get hurt with the things he say if I’m at fault. But I learned that I’m too sensitive. With the way I was taught, I always mind people’s feelings; it has rubbed off to my being with him. Whenever we would chat, I’d always correct him with how words are spelled.
I had a hard time understanding him if the phrases involve a lot of difficult words to correct. The other day, he said “I have a lixes,” and when he suddenly said “Car”, then I understood that it was a “Lexus” that he was referring to. What I like about him was he’ll admit when he is wrong and he’ll even say “Can you please correct me?” We always talk about the Gulf Coast and how I would love the food, beautiful people and the places of the Oil Country. I’d love to explore it with him, that’s what beauty of travels are for, a companion appreciating the sights and sounds through your eyes.
I have a dream of traveling to Vietnam. My dad grew up there and I want to visit the place he had so lovingly called home during his teenage years. If I have the luxury of time, I would love to get lost in Hanoi riding my bike in the lazy afternoon and eating rice papers with chicken in coconut milk or roast pork accompanied with lemon and dipped slightly in rock salt as the Vietnamese would.
A said that Egypt is beautiful and he would love to travel with me there for the second time trekking the pyramids in Giza.
What’s a party without a Mardi Gras in Rio? My wild side needs unleashing at a rave like this but that is just a thought bubble
And what would my life be without Viva Espana? Beaches in Mallorca and chasing bulls in Barcelona are the places I would love to visit, the food boasting of its rich history, and cute matadors. I would love to dress up, a red rose in my tightly bun hair dancing the flamenco with the Senoritas.
Finally, Coron,Palawan, my dream destination, the underground river, the hidden lakes, batcaves and beautiful, warm people. The journey would not be complete if not to explore it in your home country. With this, my destination will come full circle..

where was Peter Pan?

AT THIRTY, you would think I'd be married, settled and fulfilled with family life. Like most of my friends my age, they are nearly sending off their kids to kindergarten or gradeschool. Mine was sidetracked or at least I thought so.
Flashback, thirteen years ago when my dreams were still made of bubblegum,sephoras and college parties, all I wanted was to get married with my first boyfriend, but things happened along the way and growing up from the pain was necessary. I was forced to deal with what I had and let go of the future plans that I dreamed of sweetly for two plus years.
The second was dealing with my siblings to work far from home. Where we were all close knit,this had proven somewhat hard for all of us. One by one, I found myself watching TV in a big living room with only a pizza box and cried watching a happy Oprah giving awaythings for Thanksgiving.
And then it was my turn to brave Manila on my own,it was scary to find a job, struggling with things that other co-workers are struggling with. The comfort of knowing that there are people who are just like me, finding myself in this big world. Eventually, I made friends, coffee dates, pep talks, team meetings, outings, promotion, falling in love, falling out of, getting busy and sooner or later, I found myself really really growing up and accepting all the things good and bad in my life. The change looked good on me and my outlook in life. I wasn't stuck in one place anymore, all because I have accepted that I'm not a child and I had chosen to spread my wings.
Beyond the norms of having a family at this day and age, single women like me, are frowned upon because they thought we were just having too much time and this part right here, is thought to be a childish thing. But I chose to grow this way, love and family will come eventually and I'm not worried one slight bit about it. I'm not going to refuse to grow old and have laugh lines or worry that my face will turn into a wrinkled bread. Because those beautiful lines represent a history of what I have been, the struggles, pains and victories I have lovingly welcome in my life. Peter Pan can just go back to Neverland without me...

scatter-brained.

MY MIND IS RUNNING ALL OVER THE PLACE TODAY. Of all the days that I had to wake up with worry, it had to be Monday! I still couldn’t get over it. I dreamed that I was so big and I had to fit into a size 4 dress in a week for my best friend’s wedding. It can be a shallow of a dream, but it felt so excruciatingly depressing several hours after I woke up. I’m just so pressed with a November 30 wedding date on top of my head. I’ve been writing in dawdles all over my organizer. And I’m so upset with myself that I have cancelled out appointments because I lagged too much. Silly me.
Secondly, I was talking to my mom and she wanted me to go to Canada to work when my heart is set on Bahrain. She personally didn’t like Gulf countries, W was offered a job in Saudi and Cai, a job in Qatar, both my parents took special pains just to talk them out of it.
Then there were bills to pay past the deadline, I didn’t know that this week had a minus-two holidays which I had to pay penalty later on. Then our house help kept reminding me everyday I had to buy a phone replacing the lost one.
While he had sweetly tinker his new touch phone bragging it in front of me, I really can’t live without a phone. There’s just so much correspondence to catch up on.
Then there’s budgeting. There’s not enough money to go around with even if you think you have heaps of them. They just flow like water in and out of your hands. I need to stop buying unnecessary stuff so I could commission one-time wear gowns, shoes and bags to go with it. Manila will be just as expensive meeting up with friends while I’m there. I keep reminding myself to go slow on this. I get panic attacks if I think of a million things and not getting anything done. I’ll make things happen and stop canceling out what needs to be done.

my Arabian Knight part 2

AFTER 2 WEEKS OF TORTURE, I have missed A so much it made me cry. It was just last night that I finally took the courage of talking to him. Just like any other couple making up, we start with small talk. I asked him about Ramadan and how fasting went for him. And reconciled naturally.
Then we talked about our plans, of me working in Bahrain while he was three hours away from me. He didn’t want me to come to his home country – Saudi, because there were stricter laws and couples cannot date publicly. Bahrain, he mentioned, was a free country and accepted bi-cultural relationships like ours. It would be easier for him to visit and he’d take me to the beautiful Gulf coast for tours and picnics and romantic walks under the moonlight. My fascination with their culture had developed through the weeks, I have been studying and researching Arab laws, Gulf coast countries, culture and beliefs on the internet. To me, it is important as my love for him.
“I hope you will be a Muslim, too.” It was that line that stumped me out of my dream. Suddenly, I panicked! Our family grew up in the most conservative beliefs of Catholicism, enjoying festivities that would include roast pigs, drinking wine and some few things that a Muslim is forbidden to do. It would break my family’s hearts if they knew I would convert. But would I really? That’ll be one of the major roadblocks in my life.
I am targeting the first quarter of 2010 to be getting work in Bahrain and maybe decide from there. Everyday, this thought, this simple yet complicated thought of working it out with a foreigner-boyfriend has become a staple of breeding questions in my head like religion, language, mood, beliefs and traditions. How do Filipinas with foreigner husbands and boyfriends made it through their respective relationships? Did they really compromise without sacrifice? Do I love A enough to leave my family behind? No amount of advice, argument and opinions will suffice the ultimate decision that I will have to deal with later on. And it will come soon.

re-blogged

I saw this on my sister's blog, thought you might like it as I have grown fondly of it, Chicken-Soup-for-the-Soul style...

Once there was a blind man who always stays in front of the church. He stayed there and begged everyday of his life. He had a hat placed in front and had a sign beside him that says, "I AM BLIND, PLEASE HELP ME."
One day, a man passed by and noticed the blind man's plight. He changed the sign that was beside the blind man and threw in some coins, then left.
After a while, the kind man wondered how the blind man was doing. He decided to return to where the blind man was. He noticed that the hat was filled to the brim.
Noticing the familiar steps of the kind man, the blind man asked, "Excuse me sir, were you the one who changed my sign a while ago?". "May I know what you wrote?"
"You want to know what I wrote? It says, IT IS A BEAUTIFUL WORLD, & I CAN'T SEE IT."

what Sundays bring

GROWING UP, I NEVER LIKED SUNDAYS, because it was a start of a gruesome study week on early busy mondays and sometimes the feeling makes me throw up or just the thought of it makes me sick. I keep forgetting what it was for. Families, of course.
After Sunday mass, all six of us wouldhead to Giorgio's for pizzas then head to Lola's house for a grand lunch of bulalo, inihaw na liempo,kare-kare and some Pangasinanse dishes that I'm still unfamiliar with to this day. After lunch, the uncles and aunts would gather in a bench to catch up with stories of their own. We'd play tag for a couple of hours or board games til 6 pm and we would be so sleepy that we'd wake up finding ourselves carried by Daddy from the car to our beds.
Ever since I work night shifts during the weekdays, that was the only time I appreciate Sundays. If you noticed this is the only day that seems to drag by lazily and it allows you to take all the time you want.
I love how God balances everything in our lives. To some of us, we do not realize it til we reach a certain age. To most, a thankful prayer that this day had come for rest and getting to touch our centers which are family, friends and self.
I will make everyday Sunday, to never forget that this isn't about work all the time, but the importance that life teaches us to be a family to one another...

fasting and prayers

AS I THREAD THE LAST MINUTE of my legwork for the week, I felt relief over me as weekend unveiled its pretty little sunshine this morning. Eventually, all my stress released like you would a natural gas waiting to come out (tee-hee!) for a very long time. I'd be Donald Duck soaking its cute little butt at the water fountain when Chip'n Dale set him on fire and laughed at him for a long time.
I've been pretty optimistic about the end results of everything that I would welcome even the bad news with open arms. I'm glad I got my anxiety and panic attacks under control for awhile now, otherwise I would have lost every inch of patience I hold in me right now. This is all because of my faith that life will be beautiful for me and for the people I love.
I pray fervently now, for everybody and what they do. I also wanted to do fasting and intense prayer right away, I don't wanna plan it on a long-term basis. I know it will make me feel good about myself and my faith in God. It will be a good 40 days of no meat,no rice and abstaining from the things I enjoy too much like the net,and my little posh things I spend on.
It's time to invest in a good,shiny soul. And my time is now...

drained

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT IT IS. When I get really drained from thinking and from hurting, I shake so bad, it takes a couple of minutes before my breathing is in its steady pace. The last time I experienced this was working 16 hours straight without even pausing or taking a breather. The whole thing got me scared, my body shook like it would when you would laugh so hard from a funny joke.
This is the most emotional draining week i have ever gone through. 5 ex-boyfriends trying to win your affection and my current boyfriend who had officially turned into a has-been since last night. We were always fighting and he kept provoking me to get mad. But last night, I gave up, just like that. No begging. No pleading. Just a quiet "Yes, I wanna break up with you" and walked away. Of course I cried. I cried because of the release I felt from anger and from being very very weary of all the fights. And just this morning, he IM'ed me for some more war. But I breathed deeply, shut my messenger and erased all the messages he sent over the wee hours of the morning. So, I pulled the ring from my finger and kept it in my jewelry box, everything felt light after that.
I am tired,so tired of trying to be someone's spotlight,emotional punching bag and someone's free time. I just wanna space out. For myself and for the sake of sanity, I don't need them right now, not this time.

i heart Saturdays

IT'S ALWAYS THE BEST day for everybody to unwind,do their own stuff,and getting in touch with their centers.

Growing up, my Saturdays were filled with household chores in the early morning , then a little snack to reward us with a job well done. Our tiny little heads would crowd the big,round mahogany table as we tiptoed excitedly as Mama handed out our ice cream cones. After finishing up with seconds and even third helpings, we'd run by the farm and catch dragonflies, climb trees and play hide-and-seek til one of us would get hurt or if the househelp would call out to lunch.

Those memories amuse me to this very day. My saturdays now are filled with quiet mornings, tinkering on my laptop with soft music, good food to cook, some errands to finish then hang out and have coffee with friends.

Gone are the days when I'd come home drunk and sleep til Sunday night just to crawl back to bed and waste it through Monday afternoons. It's a waste really. But when you grow up, you realize life is so short.You just want to spend it with people you care for, make memories with them and look back at those kinds of things as time goes...

PATIENCE

This had been a constant practice when I was still studying. Waiting from 5am to 2pm at Saint Louis University so that I could get good scheduled classes for the next semester only to find out that those subjects were dissolved and my enrolment would go below half-time status.
Then there 's that favorite magazine I wanted to buy years ago and I just miscalculated a step when suddenly someone else grabbed it before me. I always remind myself that maybe I should have taken that chance,seizing is good but thinking why it happened and why that good, spontaneous thing wasn't meant for me is even for better. Even if it irritates some of my friends, I take my time to do everything, it sharpens me to think fast. Im proud of myself that I always do,though.
I guess the biggest thing is to be patient where my life is right now. While everybody my age have families and seem to know where they're going, I feel, most of the time I am left out of that cycle. But when impatience hits me, I always hug optimism as my security blanket. I know that our lives are uniquely patterned to where it will lead us to. Maybe mine, in a road less traveled to something I will learn from one day. I'm always patient with what comes, because I know it will always reap great rewards...

FORGIVENESS

LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE, this is the one that's hard to master. Admittedly, for those who wronged me but is not asking to be forgiven will really make my temper skyrocket. But eventually, I have learned not to ask for anything. I've accepted that there are people who will realize it soon enough, or not at all.
I've been a sensitive person specially to my boyfriends of the past who have been sweethearts to put up with me. When they cheat, you forgive. When they lie, you forgive. How can I not give them that ounce of acceptance when apologizing? In one way or another, I've done bad things to other people the same way that they did to me.
I'm human to be hurt and pained in so many ways against my principles, beliefs and personal rules but I also believe in starting anew with somebody and starting with a clean slate.
It's just a waste of time to be mad at someone when you can have hold on to happier times. I just closed my eyes for a minute there, thinking of who to forgive and who to ask forgiveness to. I have a list of them, and I will not wait til Christmas for this wonderful moment to happen.

LOVE

MY FIRST ENTRY FOR MY BIRTHDAY MONTH. 12 days from today, I will turn thirty. And everyday, I will post one virtue that I will live by for the rest of my life. 12 virtues that my life will build from hereon.
Today's virtue is LOVE. I have a lot of this. But at one point in my life, I selfishly hid it from my public. From my friends and even my family. If I am hurt, the overflowing love just consumes me til I can give no more. I will never know what I missed not giving out, but it will take a lifetime to makeup for it.
I will never deprive love to anybody who asks for it. my heart will be strong and I keep praying that in time this weakest muscle of my body will be strongest til I breathe my last.

not this time

AS I WRITE THIS, I'm reconnecting with all my friends. When you go through a difficult stage and a possible road block in your life, friends just get you up, aside from family. For no reason, I have tried to shut myself out from the funny, adventurous, and possibly experiences I could learn from. But now, I am ready to take it all in.
One of the things, that have, perhaps, stained my friendship with almost everybody was because of a certain someone who they were common friends with. But I've realized how much I missed just for this simple, silly reason.
I'm a very sociable person and just look at the mess I made just to get away from it all. i left behind a growing number of curious friends who just wondered why I had to go haiatus on them. But it won't happen anymore. not this time..my friends are all important versus one unimportant person who broke my heart

a pre-travel thought

I HATE PACKING. Absolutely hate it! I'm the only one in my family who packs sloppily, throwing things in the luggage the last minute with no organization. For CeeCee and the rest of my sisters and brothers, I see how packing is an art for them. They could tuck everything in neat rolls of clothes and still get to zip their luggages in a clean finish. I'd like to think I'm the only abnormal, left-out family member who couldn't be as finesse as the rest of them.

San Diego will be a welcoming change from this unforgiving weather. And like any traveller, people don't pack weeks before, we pack the last minute, that's the beauty of it, I know if my mother reads this entry, she'll shake her head disapprovingly. The thing is Daddy's not getting any better since last night,if his temperature blows, the trip will be moved a few days til he gets well. Hopefully, everything will be okay as days progress, I'm getting restless with watching the rain so much, I want to try airsoft, pottery classes, flamenco down Pebble Beach and order a yummy chili dog at Pink's. One more week..

the flu outbreak

IT KILLS ME that all I did for the entire week was rest due to my "unlabeled" flu, thankfully it wasn't the glamorous and most celebrated A(H1N1) virus. The rain had been going at it for weeks now, making everybody susceptible to flu. Suspended classes from the different schools around the city were in place. I hope this will stop as it compromises everybody's health and well-being.
I hope the rainy days will all be behind us, this flu is getting rdiculous by the number

fixing what's broke

I HAD A LITTLE Carousel toy that my brother broke when we were kids. It was brand new and I only played it once or twice when I took it out of the pretty little orange package. When something distracted me for a minute there, my brother instantly took it out of my little hands and tripped while he was running away from me. The little Carousel broke and its little winding button at the back didn't budge when I forced it to function. Instead of crying, I took out a screwdriver and unscrew the nails and broke it down to pieces further. After much deliberation and amazement from my mother, I had the toy run again but not as efficient as before.

That memory re-surfaced again when a good friend of mine had finally decided to talk to me, we have said our apologies and are trying to mend the pieces in the process. It will be a long haul, but we have a lifetime to mend it. For friendships that are worth keeping such as this, the effort of saving will be a work-in-progress. I meant to keep her in my life simply because she is part of who I am today and the memories of the past are worth remembering. Even the painful ones are worth keeping and etched as beautiful, the way they're supposed to be. i agree with some people who says that keeping a list of friends isn't a numbers game. They will be the ones who will stay and tell you what you need to know instead of gossiping your flaws to the world. There are just so many things to keep track of. And a life that is deemed too short for all of us needs nothing short of a miracle.

my Arabian Knight

I GET BORED with long weekends. But Fourth of July seems to agree with the beautiful sunny weather except with me. My throat itched real bad last Thursday and cough began to surface which I hated first of all. Then fever struck a few hours before Cher's arrival. I popped a few paracetamols hoping I'd feel better.

Cher got really impatient and was bitching on the fact that I was arriving late again. She shivered in the cold as I hugged her. When we checked her in at the hotel. This really hot guy was standing beside me and smiled at me immediately. Oh my! He is so handsome! I had never seen such beautiful charcoal-black eyes! I mean, yeah, mine was black with coffee-brown rims on the irises, but his was...darn it! I'm so mesmerized. And his smile, crooked, lopsided, a little cocky. Handsome in its entirety. I was certain he's a foreigner. "Arab," he said in a Mid-Eastern accent. I shook my head several times and try to take out any sense of what I really wanted in a guy. I wasn't attracted easily to guys with accents, decents, bloodlines,furs, I am very picky as I am with food. But that's the spice,isn't it? How can you put labels to people without knowing who they really are? It's not like it's their fault they look the way they should.
But I've been over that a couple of times. I see no problem.
So getting back to the story we surprisingly found ourselves on the couch starting fun conversation like we knew each other for a long time. He was leaving for Manila the day after and join his buddies for a football match. He easily opened up to me about his life (and how he is so much single!) and he was just staying in his room for the night with nothing to do. So without even thinking, I invited him to join us for dinner.
Dinner was, expectantly, fun, at least for me and Abe. Cher was in her own world loving the town for the first time and not minding us, although, she kept pinching me to invite a few male friends of my own to keep her company. We headed to Gilligans for a few after-dinner drinks and he shyly said he was beginning to like me, but the Maria Clara in me said it was too fast to even flirt a little with a prince who would not return for sometime. So I did what every woman do..be an "all-tease, no-tickle" for the first meet.
The perfect gentleman that he was, he opened doors, foots the bill, takes me home (of course, with Cher around), he also spoke in broken but fluent English, so everything turned out really amazing that evening.
The next day, we all had breakfast and headed down the stables, gazebo, and the bakeshop, then at Starbucks located at one of the quaint,little cottages at John Hay. We all had a good time and some kilig moments that me and Abe shared. (In which I will only document in my personal diary,dear readers)
When it was time to part, he handed me a little powder blue box and told me he'll come back and marry me. I laughed, of course and handed him back the box, but he would not accept it. So I threw it inside my bag and told him that if he comes and visit again, I'll tour him around the city, avoiding the subject I was a little uncomfortable of.
He looked at me deeply and said he'll come back to marry the person he had been waiting for a long, long time. Awww, for me all I thought of was, he was just being sweet and maybe meeting a wonderful girl like me breaks him because he was pressed for time. We promised we would keep in touch and that I would visit his country soon so as he bid goodbye, I think I heard my heart break a little, could it be, that I liked him, too? I took out a fortune cookie out of my pocket, one where I didn't get to break and share thoughts with that morning..it read: "Don't let this moment pass you by.", how timely.
That night I slept so deeply that I forgot about the little box Abe gave me. So when I had to drink a glass of water in the middle of the night, I took out the blue box out of its paper bag, curious of its content. And there it was, sitting in an aquamarine cushion! A shiny platinum ring encrusted with diamonds all around the rim, inside the ring was a neat engraved word spelled CARTIER. Oh my! A Cartier! How could he possibly give something so ridiculously expensive to someone he just knew?! Maybe he was serious about his plans. But what am I afraid of? If I already started liking him from the first day I met him? I toyed with the ring but I didn't have the courage to wear it on my finger just..yet.
Mental note to self: send him an email. No. Scratch that. IM him when he lands. This calls for a serious talk. I just think everything should start from simple, uncomplicated things. Maybe when things progress as time goes, we'll take it from there.

I am, after all, worthy of a Cartier...and more.

my random thoughts..post-hibernation

Wow! Has it been that long that I was in hibernation mode? After endless packets of green tea, breakfast salads and loving the colorless liquid we all like calling water, I see dramatic changes in my goal and I'm loving it! The downside of it is that my body can keep a 48-hour cycle without rest, like it always wants to stay active and when my body goes downtime, it can only take 4 hours of sleep and then I'm that energizer bunny again.
And just when I'm about to wave the white flag to being sick, the longtime-planned trip of Cher to Baguio will happen this weeked. How will I call it off when she's rode the bus already? Maybe I should be a good friend and pick her up at the terminal tonight then pop a couple of aspirins on our way to the bar.
My friend Tina has posted a shoutout on her wall just to find me, I think it's embarrassing (chuckle,chuckle) to put out a search party for me like that
I feel that I'm not doing enough to make what I want, work. I guess I just have to keep trying. I wish Ben was here. It feels empty not having him around. Sometimes, I just want to call him so that hearing his voice will make me feel okay. But I don't need him to make me feel okay, I need to be secure about myself and the day I had let him go was the day I knew I was on my own. Whoah! Psh! Drama! I'll just push that thought at the back of my head and keep singing Miley Cyrus's song The Climb.
But you know, I tell myself this: it's okay to fail, it's okay to think of things and people we need but eventually, we just need ourselves to pull through at the end of the day.

the diet mode

FOR A FOOD CRITIC like me, it's so hard to just decide on a diet come-when. It takes discipline, hardwork and mental agony to be in a diet phase but in the end, the results are favorable. So one of my best friends call me and announced that she was getting married this November and I'm part of the entourage (gasp!).
"Hunny, cherry red ang motif ko,ha?" she informed me chuckling. I gasp some more as red is such a tricky color to wear without me looking like a giant tomato. So here I am, saying my mental goodbyes to sweets, colored drinks, carbs and fat and hello to greens and mighty fiber. The good thing is that I have faith in myself in making it to the finish line. I take pride in not eating rice for a few months in exchange for multi-grains and granolas. When I'm in a diet mode, my brother feels so guilty that he joins me in eating healthy choices, too.
Mom, in her nutritionist-mode, has never been happy doubling her weekly supplies of fruits and vegetables and stocking them in the pantry. A mix of anxiety and excitement overwhelms me when I get to this program and I will embrace it with determination.As a ritual however, I will take one last happy meal of pizzas, tiramisu and fries to seal the deal. And after...Let the weigh-in begin!

chillin'

I JUST FINISHED watching the season finale of Gossip Girl, sigh! Chuck and Blair at last! I was so engrossed in watching the full episode that I had to press back a million times to make sure I didn't miss important plots and lines in the story. Still a lot fo cliffhangers for the next season but the finale was worth it.
Anyhoo, I am hoping to get a few things aligned for the next few months, can't say here what it is, but very important, nonetheless. I have decided to make it my baby project before others take over or grab the chance. To say the least, it's mine! Hahahah. This is just a quick one for now. I don't like hanging out in cyberspace on most of my free time. Time to log off and catch up on sleep, rest and everything in between.

29 cheap thrills

I'm happy with little things that I seemed so programmed with all my life. Simple, simple things that I consider, that perhaps to some, a luxury. Let me just start so you'd have an idea...


1. Burts' Bees Colony Collapse Disorder Lipbalm classic - I don't like lipbalm growing up, because of the greasy petroleum jelly-like smell and feel on the lips. Like any normal experimenting girl, I'd track on Chapsticks and Carmex because everybody was using lip balm and I wanted to see what the fuss was all about, but I wasn't crazy about these two products when I met Burts' Bees. I had the perfect excuse using it because I was always in and out of air-conditioned places and I get cold sores. The best thing about it is, the peppermint tickle my lips way longer than I would expect! When I wake up in the morning, it does wonders on making the lips so soft! I made my friends try it and they've been loyal to it eversince.

2. Johnson's Baby Oil in Aloe Vera - every after bath I use this to get the moisture locked in my skin and to soothe tired muscles after a long tiring day at work. Body lotion just wouldn't do for me. Oil also doubles as a lasting stretch to my cologne. I would pat this behind my ears, wrists, at my nape and collarbones and layer it with cologne and presto! It lasts the whole day because of the concentration of oil and alcohol.

3.Rayon - my pillowcases and bedsheets are made of this fabric. Cheap fabric actually. What I love about it, is its smooth, almost slippery surface that makes me fall asleep, my hands and feet are always happy.

4.Dinners-out, Lunch-Out with friends or family - I consider eating out a luxury because of the time my friends or family and me put in on the weekends or a spontaneous weekday. I'm a big believer of get-togethers and the most important conversations are shared around food.

5. my shoebox - yes, it's real,lol! It's not only something virtual. Whenever we move houses, this is the first thing I rescue from getting lost. I have a shoebox full of memories of friends, ex-boyfriends, jewelries, tickets, keys, snippets, notes, trinkets, and doodles. I open this once in a while, when nostalgia seems to hit big. It reminds me where I came from and what I did to deserve such beautiful words and valuable things. I don't plan to scrapbook it since it would be easy access to people who will accidentally stumble on it. The only shoebox I'd share to the world are my blogs, and that's how public I can get.

6. Beach - every chance I get, this is the place I love running and escaping to. The best relaxation for the mind. It calms and invigorates my nerves and kill stress.

7. my playlists - during work, travels or when I have to catch up with doing a few stuff, music needs to surround me to keep me in the mood

8. FB and Twitter - I get excited when there is so much mail to read that friends from long ago have somehow find their way to find me! My social calendar has never been full!

9. Flavors - vanilla, coconut, butter, raw sugar, caramel, cheese, custard, soy milk, pomegranates, almond are my basic flavors of sweets, funny that I never developed a liking for chocolate, but these flavors give me a natural high

10. Comfort Food - hard-boiled eggs in sauteed tomatoes and onion sauce, turbo roasted ginger soy chicken, bicho-bicho, sapin-sapin, basasong and bangus are my ultimate comfort food. These foods are staple when we were growing up. Nothing beats the a good childhood memory eating these.

11. DEC - Sundays are filled with these. My favorite Chinese Deli in San Juan is my eyecandy for a lazy Sunday morning with Carmela and Kuya Sid. My basket full of Chicken pies, soymilk, taro, maki, squidballs, hakaw, chili sauce and meatballs makes a good foodtrip.

12.MakeUp - I've developed a fascination with color palettes, mascara and lipstick since I was 5 years old. I would sneak in my mom's room and put makeup all over my face and pretend I'm an actress. Fast forward today, I go out wearing my cream blush and lip tint on an ordinary day. But if I have to dress to the nines, I know my makeup geography exceptionally well. They always ask me what salon I go to. lol!

13.Don Henrico's in Session Road - nothing beats an original. Their interiors changed a little. But I wouldn't have it in any of their franchises in Manila because the food here stays the same. Their chicken schnitzel and hand-cut fries are my weaknesses and their tiramisu block is an absolute handsdown!

14. my favorite websites - philippine entertainment portal, sephora, eonline, spot, and gossip girl are the reasons I slave a few extra hours on the net. They are so addictive to visit!

15. my Red Nike Mary Janes - they're like sporty ballet flats and in cherry red! It emphasizes how white and smooth my feet are. This is my favorite pair because during weekdays, I always find myself waling and walking to meetings in heels and wedge pumps, they just relax my tootsies from the harsh elevation of standing all the time for nearly nine hours.

16. Lacoste sports bag in Pearl Grey - my bestfriend hand carried this from London that's why the sentimental value is like a million pesos to me. Always handy and they match perfectly well when I wanna feel classy when doing outdoors-y stuff.

17. Suzie red piggy bank - I bought this at Humor Post and I just fell in love when the little pig had heart-shaped polka dots all over its body with a slit on its back,since I find it a hassle to bring lots of coins. I feed Suzie so she's get full.

18. Bvlgari's Petit et Mamans, Polo Woman by Ralph Lauren, Clean Fresh Laundry, Baby Girl, Victoria's Secret Pink, Woman by Paul Smith, Clinique's Happy Heart and Liz Claiborne's Curve - I live by these tried and tested scents, my exes, friends know how familiar these scents are and they almost always associate it with me.If I had a favorite it would include all of them.

19. Monthly Specials - my loot of magazines are a heap. From YES!, OK, Yummy, Food, Preview, Mega and Candy, I read articles about food, makeup and fashion.

20. Dove - I think I've used up all their selections but my most favorite would definitely be the Dove bar in Olive oil, smells delightful and does all the work for my skin without me having to worry about a single thing.

21. Food Reviews - I base my food finds on food reviews and I find joy that people get to try and share what they think of the food. As much as possible, I don't like repeating the same restos unless it's really worth going back to, I feel there's so much that my palate has to try.

22. Taho - my love affair with soy milk started with Taho. I just loved it so much I would wake up at 5 am everyday during highschool just to wait for Mamang Taho to pass by.

23. Lush, Milk bar soaps - When I take long baths, I use at least 5-8 soaps. Lush was an obvious hangout to go, the scents of different soaps were just too hard to resist. It's so rich and luxurious. I love peppermint, and butter soymilk soaps. HUMAN also offers milk soaps and I like their version of Almond Soap,so I good I love to eat it, lol!

24. Abonn Milk Bath Salt - I placed the milk salt in a jar unlabeled and kept it inside my drawer, my male co-works rummaged through it and took a spoonful and chewed it regretfully. Hahaha. Anyway, the milk salts are that good to smell. Perfect for exfoliating.

25. iPod - I just need pocket music everywhere!

26. Pill kit - my need of my daily medication is so important and I didn't want to keep peeling medicines from its wrapper, so handy

27. Bench Hand Sanitizer in Kiwi - I unconsciously hold on to railings, pull out money, taxi doors and hold Theo. So I need a pocket size germ killer that makes my hands feel fresh and clean when water's not available.

28. Lock n' Lock - my perfect baon companion for soup lunches and sauces. spill-proof!

29. Rosary - prayer is so important. And my Rosary is my weapon when I feel down and out, or happy and thankful

indoors

The rainy weekend brought almost everybody to be curling up in their warm and cozy houses instead of trekking the malls and walk-throughs in the park. My dad still sulk over the fact that he didn't get his money's worth on the Pacquiao-Hatton fight, there was so much laughing in my head.
I did my share by making sure the four-hour sleep didn't get to me and got dressed, excited to see my nephew Theo. I was wanting to try a bottle of cologne my mom stashed away and I was crushing on for a long time. But Theo was used to my Paul Smith perfume that he hugged me tight everytime he took a chance whiffing at my neck. His tiny little hands cupped my face and was cooing as if he wanted to say something affectionate. He is my slice of heaven..I got some toasted siopao delivered and torn strips of the soft bread and he happily chewed it, excitedly anticipating the next bite.
A few hours of playing with him, I head off to meet some of my friends, Waynie and Rey having dinner at Don Henrico's, we had good conversation over chicken schnitzel, spaghetti,spuds, pizza, iced tea and our favorite Tiramisu.
As much as I had to shy away from cyberspace, I had some few things to download and upload, plus talk to my sister Chris on Skype. I'm getting behind correspondence,too. Blame it on the rain for making me so lazy to just get up and get on with the program. I can't wait for Gossip Girl to have their season finale so I could do the complete DVD Marathon. I am totally in love iwth the Blair-Chuck chase it's killing me! What's next on my list that I wanna do indoors? Cluedo?Taboo? Parcheesi? Oh yeah, cooking is so much fun and Theo will be my very own critique. I gotta start banging the pots and pans for the rainy months!

pitter-patter, drip, drip, splash!

WHILE MANILA BASKS in the sweltering heat of the sun, Baguio shows no sign of heat with the cold, rainy afternoons and evenings to stay. Almost all members of my family are coming down with the flu and our help had been kind enough to prepare different kinds of soups for lunch and dinner meals. Of course the occassional iced fruits for desserts (I couldn't get enough of the buttery sweetness of avocados!). The roads and pavements have been slippery for days now and the fog gets thick as days progress. I live 5 minutes away from the city where our home is tucked cozily among pinetrees. Years ago, we lived near the University belt where jeepneys honk loud and we get robbed a lot. Now, my parents appreciate the quiteness of home and the sleepy lullaby that the night wind brings to their bedroom window.. We couldn't really feel the heat of summer since Baguio rains pretty much all year round.
I can't for Sher to visit! Everyday, she always asks how I am and she makes sure to call everyday to know if I'm okay. She's such a wonderful friend to have, I only met her last year and she's very caring and thoughtful when it comes to her friends. I'm glad I'm one of them. We're still planning on when's the best month for her to visit since both our social calendar is full for April and May.
My brother, Woodee went to Clark to train employees at his company and went to Manila to join my sister Car and brother Sid for dinner at the Shang, and they really had a great time. The next day, Woodee came home with a box of my Dad's favorite roasted chicken from Savory and it made my mom and dad's breakfast more enjoyable that day. I had my own cravings to deal on this particular rainy day which were my Twilight series books (nesting comfortably in my bookshelf in Manila), a John Lloyd-Sarah movie rerun, playing with my neffy Theo, watching Jon and Kate plus eight, Gossip Girl reruns, listening to the Circus album of Eraserheads and chocolate cinnamon with cream cheese frosting from Cinnabon.
Oh by the way, there was this one disturbing site that I came across and it showed how the most delicious food can be at its monter-sized, sinful and nightmarish look. I go to the site and food doesn't make me hungry anymore. It's appropriately called, "This is why you're fat". Gosh, at times, there are just some sites that I regret going across to. It's one of the many reasons I'd rather deal with the good old hardbounds, paperbacks, and TV. But it looks like the rainy days will be here for awhile and you do all you can so you won't get bored...

over Iced Peaches and Mangoes...

WEEKENDS MEANT FAMILY bonding. I have been busy the whole week running errands, tests and coming home every night at 9pm to reheated dinners while my parents announce they would call it a night. I spent the early afternoon watching Animal Planet with my mom and the rest of my day checking old videos from family European travels and Theo's very own video movie. My parents will be visiting my sister Christine in San Diego then cruise with my aunts and uncles in Vancouver so it was important that I archive everything and have it burned on DVD copies for their alis-bayan box.
It will be a really big weekend on July 18th as we celebrate Theo's, Carmela's and Daddy's birthdays, since my parents will be leaving on the 20th of that month for their annual out-of-the-country trip. The problem is, I have a surprise party for someone on the 18th and organized a reunion of friends on July 19th in Manila! I guess I have to think about my plans thoroughly.
I opened a Twitter account and I'm still deciding if I like it or not. Facebook's been going downhill for me after the interface early this year and I stopped threading my blogs from blogspot to my Multiply account for my semi-public audience plus I've been a nine-hour computer user since February, it would really do me good if I talk to people personally instead, so I'm cutting back on my hours and doing at least 30 minutes of online checking on an everyday basis or just stay away from it for a day or two.
I watched my mom as she spooned syrup on her bowl of peaches and mangoes, she talked in a low,soft tone as she cleared her throat, she shivered slightly when she informed me that she was coming down with a fever. I listened to her stories as she dozed off to sleep. I made sure the househelp prepared her late lunch of sinigang na salmon when she woke up. The weather was unforgiving since Friday, it rained hard and the cold was like sharp needles piercing through our skins, I heard Manila was a scorcher and I wish I could share the weather down there. I cuddled beside mama, and hugged her close to me. Hmmm.. this is so comforting than a cup of hot cocoa...

A CAN OF PORK and BEANS is staring straight at me from the panrty as I began uploading a few of my files online. I was curious what pork and beans taste like when canned. I have eaten it ONCE when I was a kid, but it never appealed to me at all when I was growing up. Instead, Fabada (a Spanish dish of slow-cooked white beans flavored with pork knuckles and Spanish sausages like morcillas) and purple cabbage salad is preferred at mealtimes dipped with brioche or baguette.
My parents didn’t really care for de-lata as they are leaning towards organic food when it comes to our daily diet. My mom is a nutritionist-dietitian, and anything that’s considered junk food is only welcome in the household for a few times. If it becomes a habit, she takes out the rulebook of the house. Canned goods to them are emergency food, and something you eat when you need to rush for a night time trip, or something convenient to pack.
When we were kids, there was a steady supply of meat, both fresh and frozen at the kitchen pantry because we needed all the building nutrients. When the six of us hit our teen years, fish, chicken and hefty servings of vegetables was a sight to see in the kitchen. Mama was always conscious of what we eat since diabetes and high blood run in our family history. All of us know how to cook and every small ingredient from sage, rosemary, dill, lentils, capers, celery salt, garlic salt, cloves, tumeric and cumin were all too familiar in our household. We were taught that a good meal comes in very unique flavors. Sure there were hits and misses in the dishes that we so lovingly prepared, but the essence of it, was preparing it fresh and delicious. If we had to use anything canned, this would only be something to support our cooking such as crème fresh. Our staff had been trained by us through the years, and such conversations would flow in our home..
“I like tomatoes”
HH: Fresh, stewed, or canned?
“What kind of roasted chicken shall we do today?”
HH: Maybe Rosemary Lemon, or we could do hainanese or ginger-garlic soy chicken
“What about adobo?”
HH: The one with giblets and liver is pretty good, but I cooked a three-day adobo in a claypot with coconut slivers and melt-in-your-mouth liempo
“Maybe a salad today?”
HH: Will we have Waldorf with walnuts or pili brittle or do you prefer a Russian potato salad with a choice of beetroot or rhubarb and smoked Norweigan salmon in place of bacon bits?
We tweak, improvise and add certain things that will adjust to our liking. We make traditions of good food that will someday be passed to our children and their children. Personally, to be able to appreciate the food served by others, I think learning it firsthand should come as priority. My mother taught me these things that's why my love affair for food never lost its fluorish...
Oh well, maybe I should open a can of pork and beans just for today to give my palate a break :)

a sun-kissed weekend

MY SUNBURN hurts really bad for the 2-day family outing. Last weekend, we planned on taking my nephew Theo on his first fun-in-the-sun experience. So last Sarturday, I packed my essentials and we drove an hour to a private resort in Bauang, La Union. It felt good to kick off our shoes and step into the white sand. Some caretakers were there to take our stuff and loaded it to a large blue-striped gazebo which was near a boat. Nobody within a mile radius was there, the beach was ours even if we ran naked along the shore line. We had our house help buy fresh tilapia down the market while Yaya Remy started on heating up the grill. The liempo was soaked in reddish brown liquid which might be a mix of ketchup and soy sauce and some secret ingredients Yaya doesn’t want to reveal. My sister made sure the bottled drinks were cold as she reached for the ice chest. I was in-charge of the easiest task that day – to babysit Theo. I love how babies smell! Like baby powder and milk, he keeps tugging my hair endlessly and jumps like a frog in my lap. It was a sweet excuse not to unload anything, or prepare the table for lunch. The wind blew softly and the waves curled and crashed leaving a foamy white surface against the shore. Theo’s eyes marveled in excitement as he jumped and screamed, his eyes drooped constantly because the sound of the waves was an inviting lullaby. We took him to the shore and let him play, but as the minutes pass, the waves were getting a bit violent and the wind blew painfully. It scared him so much he cried on the second attempt as his father dipped him at waist-level. So they packed the blanket at the umbrella and headed to the gazebo while the grown-ups were left to swim while waiting for lunch to be announced. It felt a bit lonely not having a few people around to share the beach with us. I swam with my sister and a few friends til our throats hurt with all the salt taken in from the seawater and our eyes were a painful red from diving ridiculously to the ocean bed. My arms and legs were golden and my cheeks were brick red from all the heat. I forgot to re-apply my sunblock so I looked like a tomato and when a cold towel started to hit my face, I think I heard something sizzle due to the heat of my skin.
When we got to Baguio in the late afternoon, I was so tired I slept as soon as I hit the sack. When I woke up, everybody was packing for the early morning at Asin Hot springs in Riverview. We took a 10 am breakfast at my sister’s house in Camp Allen and headed to a thirty-minute drive to Asin Hot Springs. It was a crowded Sunday so I got bummed out because the all the pools seem congested but they cleared when it rained hard, haha, what a funny way to give me room to swim. The pools were really big and it overlooked mountains of wild forests, it was so amazing to just look at it. I didn’t dare to swim in the hot springs. It was freaking hot and steamy! The Lunch table was filled with liempo, tinola, adobo, inihaw na bangus, and ensalada while Theo was busy sucking on a big ripe mango and picked up a meaty liempo bone with his small hands when we weren’t looking.
After a few laps in the pool, we decided to head home early to hear Mass. We had dinner at Don Henrico’s right after and shared a big fudge brownie ala mode to cap our evenings.
This was starting to turn to a wonderful summer spending it with family. It was definitely my Christmas in April. Hope you had yours in grandiose style, too!

my first quarter review and then some.

THE FIRST QUARTER has come to pass in a blur. If I were to do a review of what I did for the first few months of the year, I would have to say “ an impatient road to recovery”, I have blogged a couple of times about my whiny days doing nothing but rest. And if I don’t help myself to get out of this putter, I will do the rest of 2009 with little interaction and a lot of reaction. I am responding well to treatments and medications which is a clear indication of a hopeful future.
Day by day, I am reconnecting with my faith, and slowly talking to the Lord about everything I do and feel. In silence, I listen to Him speak to me. He gave me this time as an opportunity to be able to get to know Him and his ways. My parents, Mama, most specially, remind me to pray and listen to His words. These were days where I meditate on the things done in the past and things I will be able to do soon. Some of us are scared of what the future will bring when we should feel really excited about what God’s plans are for us.
I realize that there will be people who will only like you for a certain time then disappear on you like they never knew you at all. Of course it made me upset in some ways, but that decision was not my choice to make. People we know grow apart with us, sometimes, when the future is too much or too little for them to handle, they tend to let go of your hand and would want to brave the future alone. Through the years, I learned not to be miserable about it, so instead, I pray that they may find the answers to their questions and live a good life to where the roads may take them.
The April month have started, I’ll try to live each day with purpose and appreciation as I have not given it much thought before. I am looking forward to the coming days that I will heal and that life will be better for me and those whose lives I will touch when I come home…

happy kind of tired

I HAD NO CHOICE but to go to Manila and accomplish a few things in which my mom shook her head in disappointment and reminded me that postponing things will just heavy the burden, why oh why did I put it aside?
My brother-in-law H, called me the night before to remind me that he was picking me up at four in the morning. I grumbled heavily as I took a little baby luggage out of my dresser and packed my essentials. In my PJs, I had to say goodbye to Tina online as I prepared a few things before the lazy 6-hour ride to Manila. I made a mental note to remind yaya to find my sunblock when she woke up before I leave.

6am, Tarlac

My eyes peered painfully down the dusty road, the sun wasn't kind as it began to scorch through our skins on the reflective glass. H had to run a few errands down Camp Aquino and the Akon CD started to get to my nerves as it started its third round on the player. Good thing Jerve, H's brother, switched to an Eraserheads CD when he noticed Akon burning our ears. We were headed out to the expressway soon and we were taking our breakfast down there.


11 am, my Apartment
Jerve carried my luggage at the staircase and I took it gladly as he waved goodbye. I looked around the apartment, my brother Sid and my sister Car were at work. I plopped down my unmade bed as I decided to run my errands at 1pm, my head wobbled a bit, I wanted to get some sleep but I reminded myself that I can't delay things anymore and needed it to be done right away besides, I deserved this torture.


3pm, Pasay
I tapped my fingers impatiently as the traffic went from bad to worse. The sun bakes painfully,too! MOA was filled with people taking strolls with a cold drink in their hands. I was parched, but I needed to find an office squeezed between buildings. As soon as I was done with my errand, rush hour was about to begin, so I hurriedly searched for a taxi lane as I desperately swallowed hard to fight my urge to get a curry puff at Old Chang Kee. It was a choice I was making, the sky looked gloomy and I think hard rain was going to fall any minute, so I bade goodbye to my food craving and hailed a very old cab that was waiting for me on the line. I hope the cab gets to Kyusi in one piece.

8pm, the Grill

Grr..Sher! I was waiting for two hours at our watering hole to get a good decent meal and already my energy is beginning to shut down. She came hurriedly and ordered two bottles of beer for her while I fought my weariness throughout my chicken barbecue dinner. Part of me wanted to go home and hide between the covers of my bed but a part of me encouraged me to eat so I could take my medicine. I couldn't remember how Sher dropped me off at my apartment that night because I was sooo tired, what a day!



Saturday

My sister Car had a couple of pizzas and pasta delivered at home. We were just in front of the TV enjoying a beef shawarma pizza and hanging out. We planned to spend the day together, but H called and said we had to leave by 2 pm, bummer! Our plans were cut short as I packed some last minute stuff and waited for H to pick me up. We left Kyusi with boxes of Krispy Kremes and pastries from Breadtalk. It was interesting for me, H and Jerve to have six hours together. We stopped at a few pitstops to buy food, rest a bit and we finally settled at Isdaan in Gerona Tarlac for some major pinoy comfort food fix. The big fish that was a facade of the restaurant gave us an exciting welcome. As we entered the restaurant, several nipa huts afloat the wide river with japanese kois swimming happily underneath it. The staff were dressed in traditional baro and saya, a few musikeros were behind them as they waited for us to be seated. I looked around really excited with my surroundings as bright candles lit up the pathways of bamboo and straws, I looked at the water and the kois were jumping, causing to splash water on us a little bit. Our orders came buko juice, chicken, sinigang na baboy, and pla-pla, while we savored th food and its ambience, lights went off to support Earth Hour, so, although, I couldn't see what I was eating, candles were everywhere to light up the entire restaurant. And the harana was at its most beautiful tune tempting everyone to sing along. I will come back to Manila, tiring trip or not.

here comes..Pizookie!

AN EXCEPTIONAL DINING EXPERIENCE will not be complete without a hands-down, sugar-rush dessert! And here's one more additional yummy dessert in my endless goldmine of yummy foods! Drumroll please... Pizookie!

It's a deep-dish dessert that can come in warm chocolate chip, brownie, chocolate macadamia, apple crisp or peanut butter. Pizookie is coined from the words: "Pizza" and "Cookie". The dessert is served warm then topped with a luscious vanilla bean ice cream. Did I say this is deep-dish? Sink your teeth into this ...

hello, Manila!

I'M PACKING A FEW STUFF to bring to Manila. Me and Sher made arrangements that she would pick me up this Thursday morning. We'll be heading out to St. Luke's for some medicine-shopping, go to the mall and have dinner. I miss Manila despite its scorching weather, some rude cab drivers, and the busy people. I'll be there to visit a few friends, and get some stuff since I'm settling in Baguio while I'm in a rehab program. So excited to see my friends..Charles, Sher and Tina! My brother-in-law, along with his brothers will be bringing the van, so I don't get to worry about the bus anymore. Tina will be making me her version of leche flan, Kapampangan style using duck eggs filtered in katsa and Sher will just get me drunk after dinner for a mini-"welcome,biatch!" party.
My mom allowed me to go just this one time because I begged her for a couple of weeks. So armed with my medicine case, a few clothes, and a little packed strength, I will enjoy the city for all it's worth :)

who I am, for you

BABY, you are growing up fast. Your cheeks seemed to

puff up like popcorn, and your food intake is increasing. I am proud to be your Aunt Lei. One of the people who loves you unconditionally and will help you get through life as an individual. Who I am for you, will be the person that will keep believing in every milestone you will have. I will be there when you have your own puppy and share the joy of having your first toy truck or choo-choo train. I will be there when your Mom seems too difficult to argue with on your first camping trip and will share your first blush of having a school crush. I will be here if you need me to listen to whatever you have to say. Baby, life will be a very long journey for you, but know that, everybody goes through it, but they don't go through life alone, you are no diferent. I am blessed to have entered your life and more than thankful to the Lord, for bringing you in my life. My purpose as an aunt gives me tremendous joy. I look forward to your life's journeys and life's firsts. Right now, enjoy everyday and being everybody's baby. You make this life much sweeter, after all.

the golden glow of summer

GETTING TO BED at 5 in the morning sucks. Maybe because having the graveyard shift all my life rubs so strongly on me. It gets really warm in the late evenings and I would look out the window to see any traces of sunrise for the hope of the north wind to blow its coolness in my room.
Mom is constantly on Skype with my sister, Christine to discuss my parents' plans of going to San Diego in the summer. July is always a favorite month to spend a great vacay in the west coast, I was reading a magazine when I heard my mom called my name, she looked at me and hopefully wished I could come with her and the family to have fun at SeaWorld and Disneyland, but she knew I had to finish my rehab and won't be allowed to travel for the next six months. Did I say it sucked?
This year, had been filled with reunions from friends of 10 years or so, and they'd email me the details a few weeks before the event, which I have to pass up again. A lot of opportunities I have to pass up and sacrifice to prioritize myself for the meantime. Like I mentioned in my early blogs, I get so impatient because I want to do everything at the same time. Especially now, when summer hits and the beach is so tempting to soak up all the salty air, the mushy white sand against my feet and the foamy water as it crashes dramatically against the shoreline. The familiar smell of burnt barbecues and children playing gleefully with their kites, playing tag and etching the wet sand with sticks with funny drawings.
When we were kids, the beach was a weekend thing, the resort was five minutes away from us. Every Sunday morning, my mom and the househelp would fill in a very large wicker basket with a pot of steaming rice, fruits, nuts, granolas, marshmallows, dips, dressings and a neatly-tied bunch of barbecue sticks. An ice chest filled with seafood, hotdogs, and liempo would be tucked away in the car with the basket and a large duffel bag with all our clothes and toiletries. We would rent a cottage for the whole day and swim til we'd get really toasty skin (sunblock wasn't all the rage back then) and tired from all the swimming.
When we moved to Baguio, we missed the accessibility of saltwater and the cool seabreeze. Summer reminds me of memories like these,but I am not wasting this year without a scorcher. We all planned on taking the family for Theo's first summer swim and Porro Point, La Union will be the perfect place to make a set of memories again. Despite my condition, I will try and do a few laps like I used to.
Time to bring out the basket!

my tiramisu weekend...

I CAN DO THIS everyday. But well my body tells me to slow down as I am going through medications. I just looked forward to the weekend with my good friend Rey so we could share a pizza at Don Henrico's. I was only opting for a chicken schnitzel, fries and a slice of pizza. But I have been ordering that for x number of years so it was a Don Henrico's Super Supreme, Bacon Cheese Fries and the Tiramisu that I've been boasting about to Rey. It's a mouthwatering layer of rhum-soaked chiffon cake, chocolate chips, cream cheese, mascarpone and a rich chocolate cream with drizzled chocolate syrup. It's been good seeing Rey after a few months. My friends here in Baguio have been ditching me for quite sometime because they had a lot of things to do on their own.

At least I could swing my way for one last weekend before my chemotherapy starts and I lose a bit of hair, glow, weight and appetite. My friends from all over had been asking, worrying and praying that everything will be okay. But you know, sometimes, for a person like me who goes through a difficult ordeal like this, only wants to have her share of fun never really caring if I needed to be treated special or worried that I'll break like glass.

I'm thankful that I get to go out no matter what and I keep telling Rey not to worry, my body will tell me if I need go home and lie down. So after finishing up with a wonderful meal. We headed to City Lights to meet up with Waynie for after-dinner drinks. We did a few rounds of Vodka Tonic, Kahlua and Bailey's Cream and hammed it up for Rey's camera. After that, we went to a ramshacked carinderia that claims to serve a good round of pigar-pigar (sauteed beef strips with onions) but between you and me, Dagupan Night Market is hands down on this specialty.

When I got home, it made me realize more, how time is so short to even appreciate for some. At this point in my life, I am always thankful for every friend I meet, I never pass up the chance to tell them how special they are and how wonderful they've been all these years or for a certain period of time. I am thankful that I wake up to a new day and share it with the world. We must always remember, that, no matter how other people seem to cramp our style, we all live individually to make a difference in this life and not to hurt each other for our own satisfaction. If you want to have a good life, let them live the good life,too. So I'm sharing a slice of my favorite dessert to let them know how sweet it can be just to be a friend.

click!

I FOUND A YUMMY eyecandy! And no, it's not food. It's the camera I've been dreaming of! My very own Nikon camera! The all-new freshly manufactured Nikon DSLR D-3X just released this January. I just have to have it. I plan to travel a lot during the late part of the year and what better way to document all these with a very reliable buddy. It boasts 24.5 megapixels, this single-lens release has high resolution with shadow detail to control over highlight. I am so excited to take all pictures from the places I will go to and all the food I've been wanting to try. Aside from wanting to be a pediatrician, photography seconds the list. I want to be part of a photography contest someday, but that's a long shot, so I'll stick to this one. My dad has a very old Nikon camera that he keeps in his treasure chest and he relies on the brand for durabilty and quality, so since he shoot good pictures when he was still in Vietnam, I'm trusting the brand to do wonders for my own photos.

Session Road in Bloom - part 2

"UYY, I CAN'T come, really," my heart was crushed when J IM'ed me those words, followed by a text message from Cher that she couldn't come because of schedule conflicts. I logged out of my computer almost instantly to make a few phone calls on cancelling a few activities. I RSVP'ed late and my party of eight shrunk a little to six. I was looking at what to wear in my closet when Jacky called to confirm several times about how many we actually were. The street party will start promptly at 8pm and everybody will be there to see all the happenings in Session. The fireworks display will launch at Burnham Park and it'll be a blast as we all wil expect. I munched on the freshly-baked (and delivered) raisin-bread from Country Club, I was supposed to give it to J as my "Welcome to Baguio" gift and the three-foot cheese bread for Cher is sitting prettily in the fridge. Session looked more like a market rather than a sophisticated party, but tonight, it will definitely transform to a mini Mardi Gras! I will definitely run into people I love, people I don't wanna see and people I am related to, so I'll behave tonight and enjoy the remaining days of the festival. I took my medication obediently so I won't have to be in pain later in the night. Sayang, no alcohol and white sticks for me tonight or ever because my doctor says so. The streamers, blimps, balloons, colorful food are on display in every corner possible. Of course the cute guys will be there, we can spot the locals from the out-of-towners. I'll be logging out now, time to hit the town!

Session Road in bloom - part 1

SESSION ROAD IS so jampacked! The week is in its sweet glory as street vendors line up the two-way street. Me and the girls went to have dinner a few nights ago at North Drive. The chilly Baguio air was just too tempting to smoke a few cigs and drink wine. I didn’t like going out that night as I was too curled up with my food magazines, a cup of hot chocolate and a soft, big-ass bed with my laptop nestled comfortably on the nightstand if I wanted to go online.
But Jackie and Carly persistently wanted the dinner to happen that I was just obliged to go, slightly irritated.
The traffic to Leonard Wood Road was so bad I could have put on my make-up perfectly in slow motion…with eyes closed! As I got to North Drive, I had to make a beeline and find an impatient Carly tapping her white stick as she looked at her watch, when she saw me, her mood magically changed, brows creased were replaced by a camera-ready smile. I haven’t seen her for two years and just like any loving friend the hug welcomed me warmly. I got my social calendar full for the week, it’s insane. But this is what I missed and crave for. The natural adrenaline rush of doing several things until time runs out. Love the feeling! So anyway, I’m coordinating with J if he’s coming (fingers crossed) for the street party by Thursday, I sweetly convinced Sher to come with, too. My friends are preparing to meet J and Sher, I am so excited about this, so I’m taking a mental list of restaurants my girls wanna try. I’m so dying to see J for the first time in months! The street party will be as fabulous with her there. I’ve been hosting for my relatives for quite some time and it would be such a relief to be in the company of friends for a change where I can loosen up and bitch about things. Get ready to have some major fun!

the Fro-Yo Phenomenon

AS A FOODIE, it is with pride to know that Fro-Yo's are the in thing happening right now. Fro-Yos are frozen yogurt for short. My first taste of yogurt resembled a yakult smoothie and I have loved it eversince. It's healthy alternative to ice cream and with the just the right sour tones on the cold creamery, it's so guilt-free! Fro-yo's like Red Mango, FYI, White Hat, Froz, Lulu Belle and the California Berry outdo each other providing great, healthy flavors.It's better than soft serve ice cream, gelato and sherbet! Kudos to Spot for helping us get rave reviews on the craze. Try your very first Fro-yo and save a spoonful for me :)

the Pizza Wars

I WAS HAVING a DVD marathon of Gossip Girl Season 2 last night when I suddenly craved for hand-cut fries and lechon. I was imagining the crunchy, golden brown skin sinking into my teeth as fat dripped down deliciously then marbled at dipping a spud on garlic mayo. I shook my head at the thought. Grease. I cringed slightly. How it made food so appetizingly good. A parade of food rushed to mind and people kept coming up to me to ask what's my ultimate favorite food. My love affair for pizza started as far as I can remember and as a foodie, no matter how far you go with experimenting food, pizza just hit home. I love the smell of freshly-baked bread, sauteed onions and peppers. Here's a list of restaurants outside the country, (across the US in particular) that made pizza a universal comfort food.

Ray's (Queens, NY) - A New York Pizza is known for its paper thin crust, so put-together ingredients such as tomato and mozarella. A typical New Yorker like their pizzas folded like a sandwich and Ray's is one of the city's favorite pizzas and where most people prefer to eat. Using a wood burner burning on cherry and applewood chips as a customer would suspect, the pizza has the right balance of sweet and salty dough.

Frank Pepe's, Sally's (New Haven, CT) also known as "Little Italy", both pizzerias have their own loyal following, as with any New York Pizza, their pizzas vary through flavors of Sausages, Margherita and plain mozarella. They have the same wood brick oven, however, the shape of their pizzas are not the usual circle form, customers would describe this as "amoeba-like" shape,when you enter the store, don't expect them to serve you a knife and fork, the trays come straight from the oven to your tables.

Pizzeria Uno (Chicago, IL) - "Welcome to Uno's, here's a copy of our menu, it takes 45 minutes to an hour for your pizza to be served, so I suggest to take your orders while I get you a table" a redhead smiled warmly as she handed out the yellow cardboard. The Chicago style pizza is normally thick and deep dish. They usually start with a black, round tin pan, dough is brushed with extra virgin olive oil then covered with generous slices of Wisconsin mozarella, topped with mushrooms, and bell peppers, then smothered with tomato sauce.


Malnadi's (Chicago, IL) - Same Chicago deep-dish but the top is layered doubly with dough to ensure nothing slips out of the pie. Locals love their pizzas because they call it the real deal, the flavors are all locked in into a thick pie. Malnadi's boasts of their Chocolate-chip pie dessert. They bake a cookie dough in a pan, and as it warmly bakes, it is topped with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream then topped with a cherry.

Caioiti's (Los Angeles, CA) - A California pizza is well distinguished from the rest of the pizza family. Angelinos like their pizzas gourmet-style. Anything goes! From fresh oysters, goat cheese and pesto, it's called a California Pizza. The owner wanted to make something apart from the ten classic toppings and when he served it, Wolfgang Puck liked it so much, he asked the owner to work for him at Puck's restaurant in Chicago which is Spago. The owner was the one who came up with the single, most duplicated gourmet pizza called Original Barbecue Chicken Pizza from California Pizza Kitchen. They start out with the dough, smothered with barbecue sauce, chicken fillet, cilantro and mozarella cheese.

Nino's Bellissimo (Manhattan, NY) This high upper west end pizzeria sells the most expensive pizza in the world. With $1000 a pie, Manhattan's elite frequents the place to eat the most luscious and rich pizza. It starts off with semolina flour brushed with extra virgin olive oil,smothered with creme fresh, strips of dill and four kinds of the most sophisticated caviar namely: Beluga, Osetra, Caspian Sea and Sevruga then topped with the most fresh thinly-sliced lobster flown in from Maine paired with Crystalle white.

The one that tops my list is any garlic pizza downed with an ice-cold rootbeer. Rootbeer just brings out the flavor of the spices in the pie. You should try it some time :)

much ado about nothing

HAVE YOU TRIED chewing on a frozen Snickers Bar at the middle of the night and watch re-runs and not worry about what tomorrow‘s all about? It just gets worse everyday if you start to feel you’re a certified bum. I will just lose my mind wondering what the world out there has in store for me. Patience. Patience. Patience. After my rehab, I am free as a bird! I have yet to complete several weeks of the program and it doesn’t stop there. I’m running out of books to read, DVDs to watch, and I’ve tried practically everything decorating my apartment…at Yoville!! Sadly, my best friend Melissa, left for Kuwait weeks before I settled here and my close friend Jackie works through the day, so there’s pretty much no one to hang out with here in Baguio, this is where I miss Manila and the complexity of it all.
Panagbenga Festival is a few days shy of the busy preparation in Session Road. I just got off SM Baguio early this afternoon to have lunch alone at Point and Grill, nearly everybody I bump into are running hurriedly off the streets with poles, flowers and tons of light bulbs in their arms. Am I the only one slacking off time?
Against my parents’ wishes, I walked-in an open position at a nearby company, they said I passed the final interview and I can start in a month, among several applicants, I was the only one who passed, ho-hum…nothing impresses me anymore these days. If I had my way, I’d be pleased if they asked me to start in a few hours, but a month!
I’d love to go back to Manila and willingly work as a factory worker, scratch that, glorified factory worker (chuckle chuckle). I am starting to hate my princess-y life here in the mountains. When I wake up, my breakfast is ready, my pantry box is full of everything I love to eat when I want to eat it, all my stuff are alarmingly organized and I have a yaya who comes with me wherever I wish to go. But my brothers and sisters lovingly reminded me that I have all this because I still need all the assistance I can get and not because I was being spoiled rotten. I will be forever thankful to my parents, of course yet I think it’s embarrassing to let people do the normal things other than myself.
I look forward to every weekend, though. When my nephew, Theo visits us, I babysit and playing with him is so much fun! I am keen at his everyday developments and I shower him with kisses. My tutor from Benilde once told me that, if a person is disabled, he gets to appreciate the small things which slowed him down in the first place. This I find so true. I guess the one thing that’s missing with me right now is Patience. I used to have a lot of that with people. But now I don’t seem to have that with myself. Payback’s a bitch…

my lola's 92nd..

I LOVE BLOGGING about family events. I guess, in a way, I wanted to preserve the memories of my support system. When I was at the peak of my career, family reunions leave a bitter aftertaste in my mouth hence, the lame excuses I give are as easy as breathing. Regretfully, I lost ten years in the making for what I realized it to be one of the most precious things in my life. It was just last Christmas that I decided to give family reunions a try and I cried a bit for not knowing my nephews and nieces have grown so much! So I vowed to be at every family event, even at the silliest ones.
February is a grand month for my clan. My grandmother celebrates her birthday lavishly in the mansions. On her 92nd birthday, preparation starts as early as October. It was just last weekend that we all made it happen. We packed lightly and headed to Pangasinan for the two-hour ride. We stopped by San Fabian to get a gallon of nipa vinegar from Daddy’s supplier, just as we were about to pull out of the curve, a few fish vendors flocked around the car to sell their catch for the day. My Dad eyed the three ten-foot cod hanging by its tail, he made the purchase easily since they were fresh catch. We stopped by Dagupan to eat at a stop and checked in at one of the hotels there. We freshened up and headed to Calasiao. As we were nearing the street heading up the mansion, several cars were lined up front. I remembered the sprawling lawn when I was a kid and only a few cars were parked then, but now, almost all my cousins own a car and every year the lawn gets smaller with all the vehicles parked. We were greeted by my nephews and nieces, a few of my cousins were setting up the sound system and installing lights. A few yayas were running around the garden trying to run after the kids. I took a round of kisses to my aunts and uncles who warmly hugged me. The foyer was big and decorated beautifully with streamers, the maids took out plates of colorful food, lechon, sweets and busily counted the silverware. Guests were coming in and there she is, my Lola Osiang, smiling happily at everybody in her wheelchair. She squeezed my hand tightly and pulled me down for a kiss. Her familiar scent of baby powder and red roses hit home. I studied her face carefully and wiped a strand of gray hair out of her face. The lines in her face were visibly creased, boasting of the 92 years she lived by everyday, it was amazing seeing her talk wildly about her experiences, laughed like a kid, with no trace of forgetfulness. She was giddy seeing my dad “My Eddie boy”, she exclaimed lovingly as she planted a kiss on my dad’s forehead, he was her favorite son.
Fireworks cracked into the sky and my lola glowed happily when she saw all of us danced and cheered. We took pictures and took turns honoring our grandmother by giving a speech in front of everybody. When everybody was done, she took the microphone: “ I dreamt of your lolo last night, he said I must see all of you dance because this may be my last birthday, I‘m so happy all of you are here,” she said wistfully. A few hours of fun passed, the party was winding down, but my grandmother was still fully awake to have coffee with her children. They laughed and traveled down memory lane. Me and my cousins stayed in one corner just talking about what we were up to, this night right here, is something worth writing about.